Talk:Liira

NOTES: the drone that follows liira cookie selling since the garbage truck incident. can be driven on remote via chevs glasses/laptop, but this is not known. has automatic "vigilent"mode [Tell] Chevalier@shaelos: the idea is that the drones are generally around you on remote, so if another garbage truck is thrown at you, it'll hamster ball it and save you

Background:

• Likes: Pizza [thin crust, pineapple, tomatoes, black olives, pepperoni]. Practical jokes. Sporks. Wifflebats. Guns that shoot explosive amunition. Youtube. Monty Python.
• Bad Habits: taking others belongings with no intent of returning them. Is a bad liar. Spits acid on things [and people!] and doesn't use a napkin. Has Hexed the vending machines at her school so they dispense beer [and Catnip] at will. Was trained to be deceptive and evasive since infancy.
• Favorite Colour: Cobalt Blue. *Theme Song: Incense and Peppermints by Favorite Movie: ?
• Age 12.5 human years/ 43 years &3 months by the Elvish count. Not the same but are equivalent. it's confusing.
• Has very little understanding of Human culture, other then history books and Movies. Hasn't figured out yet mass media is often not 100% accurate. She speaks&reads English well but has a limited grasp of metaphor and slang- she takes them literally and gets rather confused.
• Is currently attending boarding school at East Briar Institute of Higher Learning. Is unused to the structure the school provides. Has a small garden of eleven secret herbs and spices near the back parking lot.
• Has joined the Moose Scouts as an after school activity. Is selling boxes of cookies to fundraise a trip to the Lemurian Shark Petting-zoo.
• The Swear Jar. Fines people for bad language. It seems to be more effective then her Lemonade stand last summer. It's five cents for swearing [edited, real or made up bleeping.] A Quarter for the word "Harlot". [Caliga owes her 16.75$] And a fifty cent fee for any information no one really needed to know. [TMI] She takes cash, credit and paypal, no personal checks or debit please. Has a notebook in which she keeps her tabs of who owes what.

Family:

• Uncle Chan'go -The Healer. Lives in Arizona, Father to Saari. Liira is his foster-daughter.
• Aunt Jalisa -Chango's wife, recently returned form the dead. Most everyone is a bit apprehensive about her.
• Aunt Zavita -a wizardess, sometime spy. Lives in Japan.
• Cousin Lyrra -Teenage[ equivalent 16]. Her parents were killed in a tragic accident when she was a baby. Goes to the same school, has joined the Cheersquad. Is Liira's dorm-mate at school.
• Cousin Saari -Teenage [equivalent 14]. Blood-Daughter to Chan'go. Is studying to be a wizard. Has tamed the Monster Under her Bed, calls him "Pinky".
• Bubba- a stray Gnasher Liira found in a west-side alley and kept. It [he?] got loose within the boarding school several times and is believed to have been killed in the recent terrorist destruction of the EBI dormitory building.

Friends & Role Models:

• Lil Rumbler: -A student at East Briar. Lil knows all sorts of fun places to hide and mess around. Likes to tie people's shoelaces together. She's one of the youngest students.
• Chevalier: -One of her teachers at East Briar. He teaches Cooking, and Advanced Fencing. Liira knows little of either but figures if she pesters him enough he'll show her a few tricks.
• Caliga -An Alien King of a destroyed world, exiled on earth. Torments him ceaselessly. They split a pizza now and then after school.
• Sterga -A reformed Villainess. She's the Captain of the majesty Guard and teaches Science. Is trying to coax some Plutonium out of her to build a miniDeath-ray to kill ants in the parking lot.
• Killshot -An augmented Human assassin. Arguably not the best choice for a role model, she finds him a good conversationalist, and always sporting some interesting "toys".
• "Cousin" Thort -Isn't really a Cousin. He's a Kuroneko who is gifted with a set of sentient magic armour. She thinks the armour is kind of creepy when it's "awake", But thinks that Thort is a pretty cool guy to hang out with. Gave her a Rubber Squid toy "Squiddy".
• "Uncle" Brutum -Isn't really an Uncle. But she claimed him as such and is now "part of the family" in her mind. He's a hulking wily behmoth from an alternate radioactive future. He taught her how to chug beer and make coffee. [fill mug with coffee. Tip half out. fill the rest with whisky. drink.]

On Being Caliga's Herald:

Mispronounces it as "Harold". Lil Rumbler = his Champion, TC = his Advisor. Anounces him, wears his livery on duty. Is part of the "Majesty Guard". Also sorts his laundry, buys his groceries and runs small errands. Is paid in Pizza. Has made a copy of his armour from tinfoil, pvc pipe and papier mache. [It looks good but is not in any way protective.] Caliga gave her an upgrade so it now has Nerf-gun wrist bolters. She usually forgets to lick the suction cups.

Selected Notes on "Elfland":

• It's not a very nice place to live. A variant of the European-style Feudal system- Roughly 10% of the elves are nobles, everyone else isn't. [This includes 99% of non-elves.]
• Nobles [Also high ranking soldiers & rich merchants] are often sent to Earth [AKA. the Iron-world] for education. Most elves can't read. Most live in the equivalent of Earth's 16th century Europe. Tradesmen, Craftsmen, Merchants, Soldiers, Sailors are commonly found in the cities, Herdsmen and farmers in the countryside.
• Most have no plumbing [hot water, sanitation. Most would have an outhouse of some sort.] Pasturization is not widespread so milk and raw foodstuffs can [and do] cause severe illnesses. The water is often not safe to drink straight from the source: it is boiled, or mixed with wine or beer.
• There are few "doctors"- most of those are earth-trained, generally in the King's army. Healing is done by magical aid, often the "laying on of Hands". Most Healers are sent to Earth to learn proper medicine, before this practice was implemented most had the anatomy skills of a first year med stdent. They average 1/ 3 days ride, more reside in the cities. Herb use: Mint, sage will get elves mellow, used as a sedative. Willowbark will releve pain, but can kill the user more often then not. Many elves are allergic to it and other common earth plants.
• Transportation: most people walk or ride mules or ox-carts. In the north Irish Elk are common. In the south, dromedaries. Horses are for the wealthy. Long journeys have a coach-route between the cities and notable towns. Occasionally [especially in avalanche-possible areas or known bandit areas] magical horseshoes are used to speed the trip. They are incredibly expensive so are very uncommon.

• "Elves" and "Elfland" is a convinient way of explaining who they are and where they come from as it requires less explanation then a "Long lived magical being from another dimension from a parallel world". As most Earth-people have heard of Elves from children's tales, or video games or Fantasy novels, simply saying "elf" is usually enough to get the idea across.
• Elves don't call themseves "elves". The terms they use do not, however, translate well. There are also pixies, selchies, Fauns, Satyrs, and a wide rariety of creatures recognisable from human myth & legend also found in "elfland". Many are openly hostile to humans.
• The Elvish Language has many dialects. To the Human ear it sounds like a mix of Gaelic and Arabic- vaguely similar, but obviously not either. Most elvin nobles [As well as some merchants or soldiers] will have some familiarity with English, some will also speak one of more of the more common languages. [Russian, Japanese, German, etc.]

• The northern Elvish Kingdom could be considered it's own empire as it covers most of the northernmost contenent. Large swatches are heavily forested.
• The southern Kingdom is much smaller, most of it is arid desert little settled save by nomads.
• There are several even smaller kingdoms and principalities scattered between these two. One notable one is "Drowned Ys", the main home of the Sea-elves.

^_____^