"Ah come ta whup ass an' chew cud."

Bessie's pen and paper character sheet can be found here.

Bessie is "the rootin'est, tootin'est, ropin'est, shootin'est cowgirl in the world", according to the playbills put out during her time with Doc Holliday's Travelin' Wild West Show, and she is definitely that. She's a flashy performer at heart, as her life up to this point has consisted of putting on a performance where-ever the show went.

Though her traveling days are over, she still strives to put on a show whenever she's out in public, being as flashy and charismatic as a lifetime of performance has trained her to be. She can often be found either patrolling the streets of Westside, Millennium City, or, on Saturdays, visiting the children's ward at Mercy Hospital.

Physical Appearance

"Ah ain't one ta brag, but ya ain't never seen a cowgirl quite like me, pardner."
Bessie is large, as cows are wont to be, and pretty solidly built. Her bovine heritage is pretty apparent, too: she has two fingers and a thumb on each hand, two toes on each foot, brown fur covering her body, and the head of a cow. Her head is covered with a straw-blonde shock of hair that's usually done up in pigtails or a ponytail, and she's most often seen wearing her performance outfit: a red-white-and-blue cowgirl outfit, complete with spurs on her cowboy boots, oversized six-shooters on her hips, and a lasso made from Kendrium cable capable of withstanding the prodigious strength she can apply to it.

Powers, Abilities, and Equipment

Powers

"Well, y'all, Ah'm a cow. Ah don't know if'n ya know it, but us cows're made o' muscle. Where'd ya think beef comes from?"
Bessie, being an artificially engineered cow person, is a good deal stronger than a normal human, capable of dead-lifting upwards of 10 tons, and quite sturdy to boot. As a side-effect of the processes that created her, she also heals at an accelerated rate. She is also quite intelligent, with a tested IQ in excess of 160.

Skills and Abilities

"It ain't that the bear dances well, but that 'e dances ay-tall, as the sayin' goes."
Apart from a bizarrely haphazard education picked up from her time in the laboratory that created her (she's nearly as knowledgeable as a PhD in the field of genetics, has a solid grasp of biochemistry and biology, competent though not exemplary in mathematics, and barely literate), Bessie has trained hard in the use of her pistols and lasso, in order to become the showgirl she is today.

• Genetics - While only barely literate in a linguistic sense, Bessie can read and interpret genetic code with ease. In fact, she finds it soothing: her favorite bedtime read is her own DNA. Where others see "GATCTCGAGTCTAACA" etc, she can practically see the organism described by those genes, including some metahuman abilities (specifically those she shares, like super-strength and accelerated healing).
• Gunsmithing - Bessie has to make her own bullets, as standard .55 caliber rifle ammunition is too long to fit in the cylinder of her revolvers. She's also well-trained enough to perform any maintenance her gold-plated, pearl-handled Brahmas require.
• Sharpshooting - Bessie has trained nonstop since her purchase by Doc Holliday's Travelin' Wild West Show, and while she is not a competitive-level sharpshooter, the novelty of her weapons and herself are enough to draw a crowd, and she's definitely a professional.
• Rope Tricks - Bessie is slightly better at rope tricks and roping in general than she is at sharpshooting. Still not good enough to compete on a national level, but again, the novelty of Bessie herself more than makes up for that in drawing a crowd.
• Performance - A good part of Bessie's show is the patter. Her act is modeled after Annie Oakley's routine, with some modifications due to the differing skill sets and the fact that marrying a talking cow would be a scandal. (So no jokes about the husband/wife relationship.) Bessie's no stand up comedienne, but she's quick-witted and a smooth talker.

Equipment

"Ah always say a gal's only as good as her tools, and, brother, Ah got the best tools this side o' the Pecos!"
The bulk of Bessie's equipment is, like Bessie, property of the Wild West show.

Custom .55 Cal 6-Shot "Brahma" Revolvers

"Mah sweet babies."
These custom jobs are the largest six-shot revolvers in use worldwide. Everything from the oversized handgrips to the bullets themselves is custom made. These orichalcum, pearl-handled beauties are illegal for civilians to buy or sell in the United States due to their massive size, but not illegal to own, a fine legal distinction that allowed the Wild West show's owner, an amateur - though competent - gunsmith, to manufacture the weapons himself.

Note: At the time of manufacture, the weapons were made from steel, then electroplated in gold. They have since been magically transmuted to the heavier and more durable orichalcum by the hero known as Forgeman.

Custom Ammunition

"If'n Ah hadn't learnt ta make these, all Ah'd be able ta turn in ta th' cops'd be... Well, let's jest not talk about that."

• Hardballs - Low-powder hard rubber shells, the Hardballs turn what would be a lethal weapon into a more versatile one, delivering powerful blunt-force impacts instead of bullet wounds.
• Softballs - Similar to the VIPER Tar Gun, the Softballs are low-velocity rounds made of a non-newtonian long-chain polymer in an acrylic base. What this means is that the more someone struggles, the harder the Softballs are to break, and after a short time, the acrylic sets, causing the Softballs to harden to steel-like strength. Both the polymer and acrylic break down under application of a solvent such as turpentine.
• Sweet Dreams - Gas grenades with an impact trigger, the Sweet Dream rounds disperse a fast-acting soporific gas that quickly breaks down upon exposure to light. Anyone within ten feet of the point of impact will feel the full effects of the powerful sedative, but within seconds, the gas is rendered harmless.
• Hard Goodnight - In contrast to Sweet Dream rounds, the Hard Goodnight is made of a thick layer of soft, low-temperature wax around a liquid core. The wax peels away mid-flight, leaving several thin streams of liquid. When these streams strike a target, they penetrate the skin much like an aerosol autoinjector, depositing themselves in the target's subdermal tissue. The immediate result is stinging pain like a severe abrasion, followed by numbness in the limb as the anesthetic liquid takes effect. At ranges closer than 30', the target receives enough anesthetic to knock out a normal human within five seconds. At further than 45', the liquid does not penetrate the skin, merely leaving a welt. At closer than 15', the wax does not have time to peel away, and the round is capable of dealing severe trauma to the target, up to and including death.
• Tough Love - Tough Love is virtually identical to the Hard Goodnight, except that the fluid contained within it is comprised of a smaller dose of the Hard Goodnight anesthetic, along with a mixture of telomerase produced by Bessie's own lymphatic system, essential proteins, and a synthetic enzyme to break down cells' nuclear membranes, triggering mitosis. The net result of this concoction is an injury comparable to those listed under Hard Goodnight, above, followed by accelerated mitosis and temporary regeneration of telomeres on the dividing cells.

"That's right. Ah kin heal ya by shootin' ya. It hurts like th' Dickens, an' it ain't exactly AMA approved, but it works, goldurn it!"

• Thor's Hammer - Another low-velocity round, the Thor's Hammer contains a large piezoelectric crystal and has a flat copper tip. Upon impact, the tip compresses the crystal, discharging approximately 50,000 volts of severely disabling electricity through the electroconducting tip. (As a side note, Bessie tazed herself several times figuring out how to keep the round from discharging when it was fired as well.)
• Flash in the Pan - The flash in the pan is the ultimate in misdirection from a trained performer. When fired, these rounds barely make a sound, emit smoke from the barrel, and, to all intents and purposes, look like a misfire. The round itself, however, is a flash-bang grenade on a three second timer from firing.

• Bessie's Custom Ammunition (cross-sections)
• 

  Hardball

• 

  Softball

• 

  Sweet Dreams

• 

  Hard Goodnight

• 

  Tough Love

• 

  Thor's Hammer

• 

  Flash in the Pan

Steel Lasso

"T'ain't exactly steel, but 'Kendrium Lasso' ain't got the same ring to it. A gal's gotta think about showmanship, Ah reckon."
Thinner than standard cable, flexible enough to use as a lasso, but stiff enough for the flashier rope tricks and strong enough to withstand virtually any abuse Bessie can put it through, this Kendrium cable has seen a lot of use in the past year, and it's showing no signs of wear so far. Given the durable (and highly expensive) nature of the material it's made from, it's not likely to, either.

Gene Sequencer

This device, on loan from MCU professor Doctor Dragon, is a very powerful gene sequencer. It can take any sample and process it in under a minute, providing a readout in standard GATC format. There are indications of a previously implemented feature that has been disabled, but Bessie isn't too fussed about those, so long as it works as a sequencer.

Weaknesses

• Mixed Genetics - Bessie's genetic structure is cobbled-together at best, leaving her vulnerable to mutagens, carcinogens, and certain types of virus. In addition, her mixed heritage vastly increases the number of diseases she is capable of contracting.
• Just a Child - Despite her intelligence, Bessie is very naive, and likely to take almost anything at face value. She's also very emotional, easily distracted, and prone to flights of fancy.
• Herd Instinct - Bessie is more cow than human by a wide margin, and as such is prone to panic. She's also more likely to go along with a crowd than not.
• Not Invulnerable - Bessie's hide is tough, and her muscles even tougher, but she's still just flesh and blood. While she's capable of recovering with remarkable speed from virtually any injury, she has to survive the injury in order to do so.
• Carcinophobia - While concern about the stability of her DNA is justified, Bessie takes this to unhealthy extremes, and can become paralyzed in the face of known carcinogens.
• Desperate for Acceptance - Bessie is terrified of being rejected for being nothing more than a "jumped-up cow".
• Inexperienced - In addition to her youth, Bessie has led a somewhat sheltered life. To paraphrase a once-popular radio show, she has no idea what evil lurks in the hearts of men.
• Night Terrors - Bessie's phobia and numerous social anxieties cause her to suffer from rather debilitating nightmares on a regular basis.
• Obsessive - Bessie will latch onto an idea to the exclusion of virtually everything else.

Personality

"Well, shoot, Ah'm about the sweetest thang you'll ever meet."
Bessie's pretty outgoing, as the bulk of her short life so far has been spent performing for others. She's wary of strangers, however, and more likely to associate with younger folk. She's often wary of adults, as so far the adults in her life have been conciliatory or worse.

The most important thing to note about her, however, is that while she's physically mature, being an intelligent, person-shaped cow as opposed to a human with cow traits, she is only seven years old. When talking in subjects she's knowledgeable about, she's confident and her skill level is clear. When talking about subjects she's ignorant of, her lack of skill is even more clear.

History

While the bulk of her history is unknown, what is known is this:

• Bessie is the product of genetic experimentation at Texas A&M University in Bryan/College Station, Texas.
• It is unknown what the goal of the experiment was, but seems likely that human DNA factored into her makeup.
• Bessie was sold a few years ago to Doc Holliday's Travelin' Wild West Show, who saw in her a chance to revitalize the Wild West show in general, and their show in particular. They paid far more than they could afford for her, but the novelty of a cow cowgirl helped them recoup the losses and pay back the investors they had to borrow from in order to do so.

Bovine Experiment 5513 Audio Log Transcripts

Recent Activities

"Ah take life one day at a time. Some days're more eventful than others, but Ah think it works out."
Bessie currently resides with Skarius Snowtalon, due to the need to separate her from the Wild West show for the protection of staff and patrons, as well as a need to provide protection for her from ARGENT. In the interim, she has taken up crimefighting, though she does so under close watch from UNTIL.

UNTIL Incident Report 06022013-Millen-7

Mission Date: 2/6/2013
Mission Location: Millennium City, Michigan, USA
Mission Contact: N/A
Support Operator: Serenity Carpenter
Responding Agent: Skarius Snowtalon
Freelance Operatives: Sentinel, Muscle Wizard, Riou Hotaru, Mr. Blank, Lorna Pyrel, Leonard Castellar
Other Notable Parties: Bovine Uplift "Bessie"

Affiliations

"These're th' people what know me, and what Ah know them too, Ah reckon."

Texas A&M University Genetics Lab

"This's where Ah wuz born at. It's where Ah got what learnin' Ah got, too."

• Dr. Smith - Director of the program that produced Bessie. Personally sold her to Doc Holliday's Travellin' Wild West Show. Cold and aloof, but his last exchange with Bessie indicated it was possibly a forced attempt not to grow attached to her.
• Dr. Simmons - Second only to Dr. Smith in the lab heirarchy, Dr. Simmons was the only one in the lab Bessie felt any real attachment for. According to Dr. Smith, he was murdered by "very bad people." ARGENT may be involved.
• Students - Various students came through the lab through the five semesters Bessie lived there. Most avoided her out of fear of the unknown or embarrassment. A few were at best insensitive.

Doc Holliday's Travellin' Wild West Show

"We put on the best goldurn show on God's green Earth, y'all. And the grub ain't too shabby, none, neither!"

• Emmanuel "Doc" Holliday - No relation to the famed gunman, the eponymous "Doc Holliday" dresses very much like a foreigner trying to pass himself off as a Texan.

Emerald Pyramid, LLC

"Ah don't trust these fellers none."

This corporation has been linked to ARGENT by UNTIL and actions have been taken to shut their operations in all UN Member Nations. "Doc" Holliday borrowed the money from them to purchase Bessie from Dr. Smith, but has since repaid them. Still, he's noticed the company's logo, or other symbols like it, on the clothes of some of the people attending his show in every town since then.

Friends

"Ah reckon a friend's someone'll help share yer load. Ah'll tell ya, pardner, that's a tall order."

• Skarius Snowtalon - Bessie has nothing but admiration for the draconic UNTIL agent. He was among the group who rescued her from ARGENT, gave her a place to stay, and is working towards getting her a legal status other than "experimental animal". It doesn't hurt that they share a mutual admiration for quality firearms.
• Muscle Wizard - Another member of the group that rescued Bessie from ARGENT. Bessie thinks Muscle Wizard is not only quite a hero, but just a generally good person. She thinks he's funny, and funny is something that's been missing from her life up until now.
• Lorna Pyrel - Another ARGENT rescuer. Bessie doesn't know much about this fae woman other than the fact she showed genuine concern for Bessie's plight due to the latter's status as an experimental animal, and as far as Bessie's concerned, that makes her a good friend.
• Wyvern - Bessie considers Wyvern a very good friend, and is very concerned about the Draysha exposure that gave her her powers. They've spent a bit of time together socially, and Bessie has even invited the heroine into her (really Snowtalon's) home in order to get a sample of her DNA to analyze, in the hopes of finding and dealing with potential consequences of her Draysha exposure.
• Dr. Yaargaarble - Bessie just loves Dr. Yaargaarble. Muscle Wizard's sorcerous mentor makes the bovine girl laugh, an ability that she shares with her pupil, Muscle Wizard. Bessie's been to her fascinating library a few times, and never failed to enjoy herself, even if some of the conversations go over her head.

Enemies

"Ah reckon ya live long enough, yer bound ta meet some folks ya don't see eye-ta-eye with."

A.N.G.U.S.

"One big ol' heap o' UGLY"

The ARGENT Neo-Genetic Uniform Soldier project was designed to reproduce what Project Ophidia mistakenly believed to be Dr. Smith's success in using synthesized Draysha to combine human and animal DNA, creating Bessie. Unfortunately for them, and for anyone else who would meet the permanently-enraged powerhouse known as A.N.G.U.S., the project was entirely misguided: Bessie was the result of carefully engineered retrotransposons and planning, not merely a mix of human and animal DNA supercharged by the (ultimately failed) reconstruction of VIPER's formula.

A.N.G.U.S. was dispatched by ARGENT to retrieve Bessie so they could try to determine what, precisely, Dr. Smith did in creating her and attempt to recreate his results. Since then, he's been barely kept in check by the mercenaries sent along with him.

STATUS: Currently in Stronghold Penitentiary

Unknown Mastermind

The capture of ANGUS did not end his former masters' interest in Bessie. In fact, it only made acquiring her a higher priority. They immediately dispatched another agent to succeed where the mutated bull had failed.

The identity of this assailant has finally been revealed as second-in-command of Project Ophidian, Assistant Director Roberts. Parent company ARGENT has officially denied all connection to the project and its members, and apparently severed all ties with it at this time.

Notes

Legal Status

"Mister Snowtalon's the BEST"
Until recently, Bessie was the physical property of UNTIL, and her DNA was the intellectual property of Texas A&M University. As an animal, despite her intelligence levels, she had no legal rights in the United States.

Thanks to the concerted efforts of Skarius Snowtalon, she is now a legal citizen of the United States, but her DNA remains the intellectual property of Texas A&M.

Important Note: As no one is sure about her expected lifespan -- theoretically, Bessie could live indefinitely -- or emotional development rate, she is legally a dependent minor with guardianship assigned to a designated UNTIL representative.

Other Heroes on Bessie

"Come on, y'all, let ole Bessie know what ya think about 'er!"

Character Tropes

"What in the Sam Hill are tropes, anyway?"

• Ev'rything's Big in Texas - Bessie lives this trope.
• Genius Bruiser - Even discounting her expertise in biochemistry and genetics, Bessie is quite intelligent, having an IQ over 160.
• Gun Fu - Part of Bessie's fighting style is an incorporation of her trick shooting with raw physical power.
• Gun Porn - Bessie will lovingly describe every detail of her revolvers if given a chance.
• Hand Cannon - Bessie's .55 caliber Brahmas are absolutely enormous, custom built for her large, two-fingered hands. There are larger revolvers out there, but they are extremely rare, extremely valuable, and none of them see as much use in a year as Bessie's did in a day.
• Hidden Depths - In most regards, Bessie is emotionally a child, only slightly more developed than a human her age. She's simple in many ways, though clearly not stupid. Put her in a situation that requires expertise in genetics or biochemistry, however, and watch her go to work.
• Mah Instincts're Showin' - Bessie's speech degrades when she's upset, causing her to drag out her Ns and Ms. When she's very frightened, she will stampede, not stopping until she's exhausted, distracted, or physically stopped.
• What Measure is a Non-Human - Bessie's legal status is "Experimental Animal", making her the property of UNTIL.

RP Hooks

"Now y'all're jes' makin' words up. Arpee? Ah know what a hook is, an' Ah don' want any o' that nonsense comin' near me!"

• Let's face it, even in the Champions universe, a talking cow who's a cowgirl is a bit of a novelty. She'll have shown up on the local news a time or two whenever the Wild West show came to town.
• Also, she was the headliner of the Wild West show.
• Between shows, when she could get her handler to agree to it, Bessie visited elementary schools, day care centers, and particularly hospital children's wards.
• Now that she's living in one city and free to come and go as she pleases, Bessie visits the James Harmon III Memorial Children's Ward at Mercy Hospital every Saturday in the early afternoon.

Classified

"Now why in the heck is there a blank section here?"
Note: The following section is incredibly OOC, containing information even Bessie doesn't know about herself and her history. It is included so that players whose characters might have a connection to the events in question can have an idea what might or might not work. Please contact me OOC via my discussion page, in-game /tells or emails, or on the CORP forums before incorporating this information into an RP with Bessie.

Bessie's Creation and Physiology

• Funding for the project which created Bessie came, in large part, from ARGENT front corporations, who wanted noted Dr. Smith in debt to them in an effort to gain leverage over one of the more notable geneticists not already working for a major think tank.
• Bessie was intended as a test case for production of healthier milk for babies. The original concept was similar to the so-called "Spider Goat" experiment, except that instead of producing spider-silk proteins, Bessie was intended to be an almost completely normal dairy cow whose milk would be identical to human mothers' milk and contain the requisite antibodies that babies receive when breast-feeding. The mix of human and bovine DNA was about as haphazard as it gets, however, and the end result was nowhere near what was intended. All Bessie is aware of regarding this experiment is that Dr. Smith referred to her as "a failure", and she took it personally, striving for perfection in everything she did in a vain effort to change his opinion of her.
• There are a number of side-effects to Bessie's combination of human and bovine genetics, some of which she is aware of, and some she is not. They are as follows:
  • Bessie is actually an omnivore. Her digestive tract is nearly as hardy as that of a normal bovine, but has some aspects of the human digestive system to it (half as many stomachs as a cow, for example), and even normal herbivores can digest meat far more readily than carnivores can digest plants. Regardless, she thinks of herself as an herbivore, and the thought of eating meat makes her queasy. In addition, Bessie is quite aware that Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy ("Mad Cow" Disease) is most commonly spread through bovines by the inclusion of tissues from infected cattle into the feed of non-infected cattle (commonly in the form of bone meal), so she is especially wary of beef products for more reasons than the "squicky cannibal thingy".
  • Given her mix of human and bovine physiology and genetics, Bessie is a veritable nightmare in terms of potential disease. Though her healing factor prevents her from succumbing to this broader spectrum of diseases, and her superhuman immune system generally fights them off rapidly, she is well aware that she represents a prime opportunity for crossover in the diseases she might be infected with. Consequently, if she gets so much as a sniffle, she quarantines herself immediately.
  • Whether or not Bessie would be cross-fertile between humans, bovines, or both will forever be an academic question. The fact is, she is completely infertile. It is for this reason that, despite being physically completely mature, she has neither a human nor a bovine estrus cycle, and has absolutely no sex drive. Her sole interest in the opposite sex is platonic, colored by her perception of societal mores.
  • Bessie's physical development was at a bovine rate. Due to her infertility, she will always be a heifer, as she is unable to bear calves herself. She reached this stage of development at the age of 14 months.
  • Bessie's healing factor has essentially stopped her aging process. Her body naturally produces telomerase, which prevents her cells' DNA from reaching the Hayflick Limit wherein the telomeric chromosomes binding DNA together are no longer large enough to allow mitosis. (In essence, all of her cells have characteristics similar to stem cells.) Bessie is aware of this, and lives in terror of developing cancer: due to the accelerated rate at which her cells can divide, a malignant tumor could proceed from a single cell to a life-threatening growth in a matter of hours or less. It is for this reason that she spends time with cancer victims, particularly children near her own age.

Project Ophidia (ARGENT)

Project Ophidia was the ARGENT codename for an attempt to develop a safe, powerful, fast-acting super-serum. Rather than begin at square one, top (devious) minds at ARGENT determined that the best way to go about this would be to obtain and then reverse-engineer an existing serum. The serum they chose was the VIPER-developed aerosol agent known as Draysha. Here is how that project connects to Bessie's history:

• When Bessie was about six months old, and already making herself frighteningly useful in an attempt to prove to Dr. Smith that she wasn't a failure (see above), his investors approached him, requiring him to work on a pet project of theirs. This was the synthesis of a more stable, customizable variant of Draysha from chemical samples provided by the client.
• Bessie herself worked on the project, particularly useful in determining the degree and type of genetic damage done by exposure to the unmodified chemical agent, and in devising treatments for scenarios in which the damage causes genetic instability in the user, particularly in the cases of overdose and genetic drift.
• Dr. Smith signed off on Bessie's findings, agreeing with her determination 100% after reviewing the associated data. The report he gave to ARGENT (though at the time, he didn't know that was who he was reporting to) was that the unnamed chemical he had been given had too much variance in its results, and that it could not be repurposed without risking even more undesirable mutations than it already produced. It was at this point that he began to warm to her, though his demeanor was always curt, leading her to believe he didn't like her. The students who came through his laboratory, however, noticed the fact that the notoriously elitist professor actually paid attention to Bessie's ideas, and most of them felt jealous of what they viewed as a "jumped-up lab rat". It was at this point Bessie began to undergo subtle emotional abuse from the students, which continued throughout her time at the laboratory mainly because new students took their cue from returning students without understanding the motivations behind their treatment of the cow-girl. By the time Bessie left the labs, no one there knew why she was treated so badly, and few even noticed that she was.
• Not knowing that Bessie was the product of the experiment they had funded, ARGENT found out about the presence of the Uplifted bovine from a graduate that ended up working directly for them on Project Ophidia. Once the former student learned of the project and its connection to Dr. Smith, the (erroneous) conclusion was drawn that Bessie was one of the test subjects for the project, and that Dr. Smith had concealed a clear success when he reported that the effects of Draysha exposure were too unpredictable to rely on.
• Based on this determination, ARGENT makes a more direct "appeal" to Dr. Smith. While he is still unaware of the true nature of the organization that funded him, Dr. Smith is acutely aware that he is in over his head, and begins looking for a way of getting the program out from under ARGENT's thumb before anyone is hurt.
• Someone is hurt: Specifically, Dr. Simmons, who is second in the lab's hierarchy and likely to succeed Dr. Smith should the latter retire, is assassinated by ARGENT operatives. Simmons' home is ransacked and valuables are taken in order to conceal the connection between the victim and perpetrator. Smith digs into the public history of the investment firm and stumbles on a conspiracy site that links the corporation to ARGENT, detailing the conglomerate's history of terrorist connections and international criminal activities.
• Smith panics. At this point, he has two goals:

1. Sever all connections with ARGENT without letting them know he knows who they are.
2. protect Bessie, whom ARGENT clearly has an unwarranted interest in, from exploitation.

In addition to caring about the young bovine, he has seen her physical capabilities, and the thought of an army of Bessies, all mature, fully trained, and ready for combat within two years of gestation, frankly horrifies him. He concludes that his best bet is to find an innocuous buyer for the bovine, and use the money from her sale to pay off ARGENT, thus killing two birds with one stone: getting Bessie away from the laboratory and out of ARGENT's notice, and getting clean money with which to pay off the debt.

• ARGENT gets wind of Smith's attempts to sell Bessie. Unaware of Smith's true motivations, they see this as a prime opportunity. Finding a potential buyer in the list of people Smith has contacted, they have an operative posing as an investment banker intercept "Doc" Holliday at a truck stop and subtly steer the conversation towards subjects that would cause Holliday to bring up Bessie. The operative then expresses an interest in the bovine girl and offers to draw up a standard investment contract, citing the novelty of a "genuine cow-girl" as a potential source of ROI in order to allay Holliday's concerns.
• Holliday agrees, buys Bessie with funds provided by ARGENT front company Emerald Pyramid, LLC. ARGENT bides their time, preparing to reactivate Project Ophidia. As soon as their labs are up to speed, they begin preparations to buy out the Wild West show per the terms of the contract Holliday signed.
• Holliday, ecstatic at the money coming in with his new main attraction, and not comfortable with having any debt hanging over him, unwittingly foils ARGENT's plans by paying off the investment firm in record time. This necessitates a change in plans for the group. They begin dispatching covert operatives in each of the towns visited by the Wild West show in order to plan the outright theft of what they feel should have been their property in the first place.
• The day ARGENT moves on their plans, the Wild West show is in Millennium City, MI, and a number of heroes are on hand for various reasons. The heroes successfully thwart ARGENT's attempt, and UNTIL operative Skarius Snowtalon explains the nature of the threat to the Wild West Show. Holliday makes the decision to sell Bessie to UNTIL immediately, and Snowtalon takes legal possession of Bessie.
• ARGENT, realizing that Bessie is out of their reach while she is under UNTIL protection, bide their time, waiting for an opportunity to seize the cow-girl, and still completely unaware of her true connection to the Project Ophidia research.
• As of 2/9/2013, Bessie is aware of her involvement with this project, having had what Draysha is and does explained to her, but is not sure what ARGENT wants her for.

Gallery

"Why, shore Ah'll pose fer a picture 'r two!"

• 

  "Ah reckon this's a much better outfit'n the one Ah wear in performances."

• 

  "A gal needs ta be flashy when she's out in front of an audience, y'all!"

• 

  "This Purple feller c'n tell ya, a trick shootin' demonstration's best viewed from a distance."

• 

  "Mah sweet babies need tender lovin' care, an' Ah learnt me how ta give 'em the best."

• 

  "Ah reckon a gal's gotta know how ta make a entrance, like."

• 

  "Mister Snowtalon has a right proper homestead, Ah reckon. Y'know, a gal could git used ta livin' like this."

• 

  "Well, now. Ah reckon a gal could git used ta a place like this 'un, too!"

• 

  "Y'all robot cowboys don' know nuthin' 'bout nuthin', do ya?"

• 

  "A cowgirl's gotta have more'n six-shooters. She needs style an' flash, Ah reckon."

• 

  "Ah'll show y'all how she's done, ya goldurn fake cowboys!"

• Y'all ain't s'posed ta read a girl's diary. T'ain't proper-like.
• 

  "Millennium City's 'bout the neatest place a gal could live!"

Fun Facts

"'Cuz learnin's fun!"

• Bessie's somewhere between a serious character and a joke character: On the serious side, I wanted to work with the Champions lore regarding nonhuman characters, and how badly they get the shaft legally. On the joke side, she's a cow cowgirl. Come on, I HAD to.
• Bessie's stats were determined in the Palladium Role Playing Game Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Other Strangeness.
• Bessie is a Longhorn from Texas A&M, two schools with a long-standing football rivalry. Because I think it's funny.
• Bessie's birthday was chosen deliberately for two reasons.
  • The first is because it's my wife's birthday.
  • The second is because it's a Texas state holiday that's significant to one of the themes of the character.

Music

• Wild West Show theme song: Cows with Guns by Dana Lyons
• Bessie's favorite song: The Thunder Rolls by Garth Brooks. As smart as she is, she doesn't really grasp the relationship stuff. All she knows is it's about being on the road, and there's a girl with a gun in the end of it.
• Bessie's Actual theme song: The Eagles - Journey of the Sorcerer, a sweeping piece most associated with The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Bessie's Cow Pun Collections

There's something about Bessie that invites paronomasia. We just can't help it, one person has a beef with her concept, and then everyone just follows the herd, and we all milk it until we're udderly overwhelmed. Here are some prime examples.

Individual Puns

• Credit goes to Pallas001 for Bessie's cowliber pun, though she suggested it be applied to her guns.
• GFN asked "Bessie knows how old she is, right? Or can she not cownt?"
• [9:13] Pirouette@The-Mender: she's a work of Comoooooody
• [7:04] Lorna@LorannaPyrel: oh, there's the beefcake :)
• [17:37] Momentus@G.Polaris: ((Cow powers, Lactivate!))

Pun Stampedes

After Her First RP Session (2/6/2013)

When discussing lack of hair on bestial heads (2/10/2013)

"Y'all just can't stop, can ya?"

10/28/2013 - Cow Punning strikes the CRP IC channel!

"And now ya got me doin' it! Agh!"