Biography

"Don't worry: success hasn't gone to my head."

Ronald Blake was born in Wichita, Kansas to an accountant father and a homemaker mother. From a very early age, Ron was an exceedingly average individual. In academics, he maintained straight Cs. As far as looks went, he was a particularly unremarkable person. In the social sphere, he had a small circle of friends and was well-known about his school as that one guy everyone was completely neutral towards. For the most part, Ron was just like every other person who never really stood out from the crowd and who had no strong desire to do so, which made him a perfect candidate for a position as a henchman.

An avid fan of superhero and comic book culture growing up in a town where superheroes had virtually no presence, Ron always dreamed of one day leaving Littlewood and moving to Millennium City, where he would sign up with UNTIL and become a liaison, working closely with his superhero idols. When he graduated from high school with unremarkable grades and no strong references from his unimpressed teachers, however, he was forced to compromise his dreams for the sake of reality.

Living in his parents' basement and taking a job as a waiter at a local fast food joint, Ron slowly built up the funds needed to get into a mediocre college where he could major in Superhuman Studies and have a better shot at getting a job with UNTIL. Thought it took an entire year of scraping and saving, with a little help from his ever-supportive parents, Ron was eventually able to apply for a Superhuman Studies sandwich course at the local college. For the first time in a while, it seemed that things were finally looking up for him.

However, things took a turn for the worse when, after attending a party with his work friends to celebrate his success, Ron ended up meeting a sleeping with a friend of a friend named Carolina Whitney. A few weeks later, Carolina revealed that she was pregnant with Ron's child, thereby ruining any plans he had for going to college. With his dreams once again shattered, Ron reluctantly did the right thing, marrying Carolina and agreeing to get a job to help raise their child.

Getting a job as a telemarketer and placing a down-payment on a small apartment for his new family to live in, Ron, like most others in his position, resigned to an unfulfilling life of mediocrity and misery, mindlessly dragging himself through the motions and slowly but surely losing the will to live. As the next eight years of his life passed by and the family moved into a larger house, the one thing that kept him going was his dedication to his daughter, Gretchen.

Being a decent father to his child wasn't enough to hold a strained marriage together, however. Tensions between Carolina and Ron grew more and more intense as their marriage went on, eventually culminating in a heated argument which ended in Ron being forced out of his own house by a teary-eyed Carolina. Though they attempted many times to reconcile their differences for Gretchen's sake, within a year the couple were divorced and Ron, who was once solely motivated by his daughter, was only allowed custody of her every other weekend.

With no other alternative, Ron moved back in with his parents and withdrew into the world of comic books, online messageboards and weekly Dungeons and Dragons sessions with his co-workers for a few months, not wanting to face the reality of his situation and attempt to get back on his feet.

Although he only spent a minimal amount of time with Gretchen, it was his daughter that eventually inspired him to take after the comics he loved so much and pull himself out of his rut, giving as motivating a speech as a nine year old could muster. With a new resolve and nothing holding him back, Ron sold his comic book collection and his rare Magic the Gathering cards and applied for a short course in Superhuman Studies at Millennium City University, temporarily saying goodbye to Gretchen and moving to Millennium City.

With a sum of the money earned by selling his leftover comics, Ron rented out an apartment with a few of his fellow Millennium City University students: Dean Dauterive, Sasha Levenstein and Richard Johnson. Though he was slightly older than his roommates and somewhat less optimistic about life, he quickly began socialising with them and eventually worked his way into their circle of friends, using his newfound freedom to cut loose and forget his worries.

Getting his degree in Superhuman Studies after three years, Ron finally sought to put his life back on track. His degree earning him access to opportunities previously unavailable to him, Ron took up a low-ranking, low-paying job as a Superhuman Registrations Officer at UNTIL's headquarters in Millennium City and, within a year, had worked his way up to being a Liaison-In-Training. With Carolina allowing Gretchen to visit him for a week every month and a steady income keeping him afloat, the future had never looked so bright for Ron.

When a data filing mistake allowed a powerful metahuman to break out of an UNTIL containment facility and rampage through New York causing wanton property damage, the handful of UNTIL liaisons responsible for the catastrophe, looking to save their own hides, manipulated records to place the blame entirely on an unsuspecting Ron. With the forged evidence pointing directly to him, Ron was quickly fired and blacklisted by UNTIL, once again sending his life spiraling down the drain. Unemployed and quickly on his way to bankruptcy, Ron fell into a deep depression and began heavily drinking. This prompted him to drunkenly call Carolina and beg her to come back to him, revealing that she had long since married successful lawyer and ex-classmate of Ron, Kevin Hammer. Aggravated by the shocking revelation, Ron threw a drunken and belligerent tantrum over the phone. Naturally, it didn't end well.

Using the drunken outburst as a chance to completely remove Ron from Carolina's life, Kevin brought the issue to court and persuaded the presiding judge to deem Ron as being not suitable to have any custody of Gretchen. Furious at Kevin's meddling, Ron punched him in the nose, breaking it and getting three months in a minimum-security prison on assault charges. His life at an all time low, Ron used most of his time in prison working out and getting his body into shape. Though this gave him some purpose whist residing in prison, he quickly found that, upon his release, his life had become almost completely meaningless. With no job, no money and an assault charge on his record, Ron's future looked to be an overwhelmingly bleak one.

Still stuck in his depression and with his life only getting worse, Ron reluctantly decided to leave his apartment and go shopping for groceries one day. Much to his surprise and embarrassment, however, he into his old roommate, Dean Dauterive, and the two old friends caught up at a local cafe. There, Dean told a despondent Ron that he, along with Sasha and Richard, had gone into 'henching', signing up with VIPER and working as infantry. Though initially appalled by the news, Ron quickly began to change his mind when Dean enthusiastically listed the perks of working with an organisation like VIPER and its relatively simple hiring criteria. Promising to put in a good word with the recruitment office, Dean urged Ron to consider his offer and return to him with an answer.

After mulling it over for a few days and weighing the costs and benefits, Ron bit the bullet and contacted Dean, informing him of his interest in becoming a member of VIPER. After two and a half months of training and psychological exams, Ron was a full-fledged VIPER soldier stationed in Canada with Dean, Sasha and Richard. With fancy training, an awesome costume and an arsenal of weapons at his disposal, Ron was certain things were going to finally start going right for him.

One day, while Ron, his friends and a small army of his fellow VIPER soldiers were stationed at a VIPER research facility in the Canadian Wilderness and tasked with protectingit from any potential infiltrators or passing heroes, a strike team of Steelhead soldiers launched an attack on the facility, causing a massive firefight between the two warring factions. Knowing all too well the fate of a henchman who doesn't play it smart rather than brave, Ron crept away from the conflict and attempted to flee into the mountains. However, having caught a nasty cold earlier that day, he accidentally let out a sneeze, causing a massive avalanche which buried and killed the Steelhead Soldiers moments after they dispatched the last of the VIPER troops. Surprised and alarmed by the development and not used to killing others in cold blood, Ron swore at the top of his lungs just as the high-ranking VIPER soldiers exited the facility. To them, it seemed as if the brave henchman had somehow managed to eliminate an entire Steelhead strike force and was now mocking them from on high. Needless to say, they were impressed and quickly promoted him through the ranks as a reward.

Ron became a legend amongst VIPER troops after the incident. Known as 'The One Who Lived', 'The One That Got Away' and 'The Henchman Supreme', the very ground he touched was practically worshiped by his fellow henchmen. Quickly letting his newfound fame go to his head, Ron would regale his fellow henchmen with tall tales about the incident and would revel in their hushed gasps of awe.

Ron's tall tales ultimately landed him in hot water. While giving a lecture to new recruits at a VIPER base in Colombia, the Colombian vigilante, El Chupacabra, launched a one man assault on the base, slaughtering VIPER soldiers one after another. With the trainees scared out of their mind and counting on Ron to single-handedly defeat El Chupacabra, the terrified Ron found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Forced to don his gear and charge against his first metahuman, Ron charged in with the rest of his VIPER comrades and prayed for a miracle. When El Chupacabra tore through the screaming soldiers in a matter of minutes, Ron promptly wet his pants.

Unexpectedly, though, the sharp smell of Ron's urine dazed El Chupacabra, a blind man who 'saw' through a heightened sense of smell. When Ron ceased his cowering, he realised that El Chupacabra was staggering about, dizzily. Taking his chance, he quickly reached for his sidearm and fired, hitting the hero in the shoulder and sending him crashing through the window behind him, where he plummeted from the top of the mountainside base to the jagged rocks below, his mask getting caught on the shattered glass in the windowpane.

When VIPER reinforcements arrived on the scene and saw Ron grasping El Chupacabra's mask whilst looking down at his broken body from the shattered window, they again assumed that he had overpowered the man and, in a show of ruthlessness, defenestrated him, earning him a promotion to Squad Leader and the nickname 'Ron the Defenestrator'. Though glad for even more fame and money, Ron decided that he had to leave his job before his incredible luck ran out.

Spending a year doing easy and low-danger jobs and allowing his squad to do the heavy-lifting for him, Ron endured for six more months before finally tendering his resignation and using his acquired funds to open a small comic book store named 'Of Dice and Henchmen' in Downtown Millennium City. At the somewhat ripe age of 33 and with his youth more or less behind him, Ron was content to retire into a stable and relatively safe job which would give him a shot at winning joint custody of Gretchen back.

Travelling back to Littlewood and meeting with a reluctant Carolina, Ron apologised for his past mistakes and promised that he had changed. Trusting his word, Carolina hesitantly allowed him to have joint custody of Gretchen again, stating that she would fly over to stay with him in Millennium City for a week every month on the condition that Ron kept his life together. Overjoyed at the prospect of seeing Gretchen again, Ron quickly accepted.

Flying back to Millennium City with a non-talkative Gretchen in tow, Ron, desperately trying to connect with his daughter like they used to, attempted to win her over by showing her his comic store and telling her about his (exaggerated) exploits with UNTIL. Gretchen, however, had little to no interest in the comic books or video games she and her dad once enjoyed anymore and, much to Ron's despair, she seemed desperate to get as far away from her father as possible.

Despite further efforts to make Gretchen enjoy spending time with him, Ron eventually came to the realisation that his efforts were too little and too late. With Gretchen's first month with him coming to a close, Ron gave up hope and became despondent himself.

That night, however, Gretchen stumbled upon the basement of Ron's store. Curious, she picked the lock and entered it. Much to her surprise, Ron's old VIPER gear and reports about his many exploits were what greeted her. Woken up by Gretchen's snooping, Ron quickly rushed to the basement to try and convince her that she was mistaken in her assumptions, only for Gretchen to show the first signs of genuine admiration for her father since their reunion. Impressed and amazed by Ron's history as a legendary VIPER agent, she begged him to tell her more. Startled but glad to finally have Gretchen's respect again, Ron agreed to share everything with her.

Gretchen, enthusiastic about her father's old career, urged him to get back in the game of 'henching'. Though initially reluctant to work closely with VIPER once more, Ron was eventually swayed when Gretchen proposed he become a 'freelance henchman', which would allow him to both make greater profits and be selective with his jobs. Using Gretchen's business model in an attempt to get closer to her again, Ron became the Henchman (pronounced Hench-Man), a roving 'hench-for-hire' who promised the perfect blend of experience, expertise and expendability.

With Gretchen acting as his secretary/tech support/manager both in Wichita and in Millennium City, Ron sought to earn some recognition in the criminal community. His first lucky break came from ARGENT who, due to a data mix up, accidentally called him instead of the mercenary Warhawk, requesting that he assassinate an ex-ARGENT soldier who murdered his commanding officers, stole several blueprints and files worth millions of dollars and went into hiding. Though uneasy about having to kill someone, Ron agreed to take the job to support his failing comic book store and to win more of Gretchen's affection.

With Gretchen narrowing the ex-soldier's location down to somewhere in Ohio, Ron quickly flew there on ARGENT's dime and began seeking him out. When a week passed with no luck, however, Ron began to question his capabilities. On his way to buy an ice cream cone to drown his sorrow in, Ron accidentally ran into the ex-soldier, himself looking to purchase some ice cream. The ex-soldier, realising almost immediately that Ron was sent by ARGENT, quickly turned tail and ran, resulting in a chase which ended on the rooftop of a nearby apartment complex.

Drawing his knife, the ex-soldier attacked Ron. Ron, still relatively unused to being stabbed at, narrowly evaded his attacks and managed to disarm his attack using a move from his basic training days to break his arm. Injured and panicked, the ex-soldier pleaded with Ron to spare his life, causing him to hesitate slightly. Taking his chance, the ex-soldier lunged at Ron and attempted to throw him off the roof. Quick to act and characteristically lucky, Ron managed to grab onto his aggressor as he plummeted, leaving both men dangling from a thirty story rooftop, Ron clinging to the side of the building and the ex-soldier clinging to Ron.

Quickly losing his grip, Ron flailed wildly in an attempt to shake his hanger-on loose, to no avail. While the ex-soldier managed to cling on, though, Ron's ill-fitting pants did not. Before either of the men could react, Ron's pants slide off of his waist and fell off, taking the ex-soldier with them. Once again saved by circumstance, Ron counted his blessings and returned home to Millennium City, securing the stolen documents and picking up a hefty paycheck from ARGENT.

With his ARGENT clients recommending him to others, Ron's popularity began to steadily increase and the 'henching' and mercenary came rolling in. Before long, Ron had made a name for himself as a hench-for-hire and, with his profits, Ron set out to expand his little business into a more sizable one.

Buying an old gym down in Westside, Ron converted the lower floor into a comic book store to act as a front for his less-than-legal activities on the upper two floors. With the comic book store drawing the attention of the average person, the second and third floor became the headquarters of Hench Co., a 'company' that specialises in training new henchmen and, subsequently, finding them placements in villainous organisations. With the founding of Hench Co., Ron swore to finally give the average henchman a voice and a fighting chance, so long as they gave him 10% of their paycheck from each job with him, of course, taking the best jobs and placements for himself.

For a while, Hench Co. functioned primarily as a company which specialised in dealing with henchmen. However, this all changed when Ron was sent on a job to kill the South African terrorist known only as 'Amani'. Amani, famous for his ability to build ingenious technology with few resources, had recently provided anti-white revolutionaries in South Africa with powerful weapons which allowed them to destroy a sizeable portion of a small city and was made into South Africa's most wanted criminal for it.

Though finding Amani was relatively simple enough with the right connections, Ron was surprised to find that Amani was nothing more than a young boy in his 20s who used his genius to make weapons for the sole purpose of keeping his village fed. Feeling sympathy for him, Ron decided to cut him a deal: he would come to America and design weapons and gadgets for Hench Co. and, in return, he would send half his paycheck to his village to ensure they stayed well-fed. Amani quickly agreed and the two set off to America.

When they returned, Ron, with the help of Amani and Gretchen, began to expand Hench Co.'s business enterprise and established it both as a henchman agency and a small weapons and gadgets development company in the criminal underground. Hiring a team of engineers to work under Amani and opening a production factory within the Westisde sewers, the Henchman quickly made a name for himself in the world of crime and villainy. Now, with Gretchen and Amani at his side and nowhere to go but up, Ron works as a henchman and mercenary for a number of criminal organisations. From terrorist groups such as VIPER and GAIA to modern day cults such as DEMON and Ouroboros, the Henchman will take on anything challenge - so long as the price is right. No task is too small or degrading for the Henchman! Too dangerous, on the other hand...

Abilities

Henchman: Jack Of All Trades

"Hello potential client/buyer/archnemesis! If you're reading this, it means you're curious about finding out just what it is you get bundled when you hire a henchman from Hench Co. While I can't really speak for the other expendable drones under the Hench Co. brand, I can give you a plethora of reasons as to why you should hire me. You don't work in the business for as long as I have without picking up a few tricks and with a skillset that boasts both diversity and mediocrity, a psychological profile that's perfectly suited to mindlessly following orders and a money back guarantee*, you won't find a better henchman anywhere else! My special collection of combat and non-combat skills include:"

Marksmanship (Various)

Archery (GAIA)

Throwing Weapons (The Human Dart)

Swordsmanship (The Swordmaster)

Military Training (Various)

Boxing {The Brass Knuckle)

Judo and Jujutsu (The Cheshire Cat)

Ninjutsu (The Black Blood Clan)

Aikido (Killer Crab)

Krav Maga (Major Payne)

Karate (Cult of the Red Banner)

Staff Fighting and Eskrima (Bo-Lista)

Knife Fighting (Bladedancer)

Parkour and Acrobatics (Nimble Jack)

Stealth and Espionage (The Infiltrator)

Reconnaissance (VIPER)

Botany (GAIA)

Biology and Chemistry (Dr. Death)

Mechanical Engineering (Various)

Safecracking (Jimmy Two-Hands)

Sleight-Of-Hand and Pickpocketing (Wildcard)

Mystic Arts (Cult Of The Red Banner)

Dark Magic and Demonology (DEMON)

Psionic Defense (PSI)

White-Collar Criminal Skills (ARGENT)

Combat Strategy/Tactics (Various)

Survival Skills (Various)

Advanced Weapons Knowledge (The Quartermaster)

Egg Trivia (Egghead)

Playing Possum (The Possum)

Cooking and Baking (Pat-A-Cake Patty)

Computer Skills (The Gremlin)

Piloting (The Devilhawks)

Mech Piloting (Super Villain Death Despair Force)

First Aid (Various)

Escape Artistry (The Circus Of Crime)

Tracking and Hunting (Jungle Jim)

Cryptography (The Codebreakers)

Advanced Retreating (VIPER)

Multilingualism (Various)

British History (Tyrant)

Group Counselling (Night School)

And many other less important talents! (Who cares?)

"Here at Hench Co. we always guarantee the perfect combination between mercenary quality and minion expendability for a relatively reasonable price and a relatively trustworthy smile. So, next time you're thinking about hiring a henchman for your evil army or taking the steps towards becoming your favourite villain's and/or villainous organisation's next top lackey, why not come to the best? Why not get a limited edition Henchman bobblehead and a '$5 off on every purchase over $300' coupon for the Henchstore with every hire? Why not come on down to Hench Co. and let us give you the helping hand you need to tower over your enemies?"

Equipment

"Hench Co. Hench-Handbook® Third Edition, Page 14, Article 45: A good henchman knows that the difference between death and a slightly more delayed death is his gear. S'why I always wear my utility bel- Where's my utility belt? Oh, for- Who took my utility belt?!" - Henchman

Hench Co. Hench-Helper®

"Stored in the guise of a belt buckle bearing the Hench Co. logo, the Hench Co. Hench-Helper® is just the thing to keep the modern day henchman on top of his game. With a built in computer system, the Hench-Helper is able to interface with nearby electronic devices and manipulate them remotely. Whether you're hacking into a mainframe to secure intelligence, activating an evil lair's security systems to shake an angry anti-hero or picking an electronic lock to some hero's not-so-secret hideout, the Hench Co. Hench-Helper® is there for all your tech-based needs. Not enough gadget for you? Well, in addition to its primary function, the Hench Co. Hench-Helper® also acts as:"

A cell phone!

An organiser!

A day planner!

A music player!

A totally unmonitored place to store all your secrets!

A handheld gaming console with access to the Hench Co. Mobile Marketplace®!

A portable television with access to exclusive channels like Merc TV® and Henchman Today®!

A portable radio with access to exclusive stations like Merc FM® and Henchman 105.2®!

An internet browser!

A substance scanner!

A best friend!

A heavy, blunt object!

And more, probably!

"With the Hench Co. Hench-Helper® at your side, the only thing that could possibly stop you is someone much stronger and better equipped than you, of which there will most likely be plenty! The Hench Co. Hench-Helper® may bear the Hench Co. logo, but that doesn't mean it can't come in different colours? Choose from Orange, Tangerine, Pumpkin, Tenné, Tangelo or Gamboge to make your Hench Co. Hench-Helper® your own! Buy a couple!"

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Dual Colt M1911 Customs: Custom ordered by the Henchman to fit both his practical and aesthetic needs, his Colt M1911 are both personalised with the Hench Co. logo embedded into their grips and a chrome finish. They're just the thing for popping caps in a few asses.

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IMI Desert Eagle XIX: As the standard issue sidearm of low-ranking VIPER soldiers, the Desert Eagle XIX is the handgun Henchman has the most practical experience with and, as such, is the one he's come to rely on as a back up sidearm.

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VIPER Venom Tactical Machine Pistol: A monster of a sidearm used by elite VIPER infantry, the Venom Tactical Machine Pistol is designed to pack an added punch when up against heavy body armour whilst also providing the wielder with a number of tactical attachments such as a scope, a silencer and an optional laser sight. Henchman thinks it's pretty nifty, if not a little heavy.

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Dual HK MP7s: Lightweight, high-penetration and trustworthy, the HK MP7 Personal Defense Weapon is a personal favourite of Henchman. As far as submachine guns go, the HK MP7 is very nice. So nice, in fact, he bought it twice.

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LWRC M6A3: The type of gun that's best fired wildly by a complete badass who isn't wearing a shirt. Whilst Henchman is by no means a complete badass who isn't wearing a shirt and refuses to fire it wildly, he still thinks himself to be just as suited to the LWRC M6A3 carbine as anyone else and uses it just as regularly as any shirtless gun-totting madman would.

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Barrett M98B: He may not be a world class marksman, but Henchman considers himself to be a fairly capable shot with a sniper rifle when given the chance to use one. When he does get that chance, his sniper rifle of choice is the Barrett M98B. Besides its high effective range and custom multi-vision scope, the rifle also boasts that cool bolt-action mechanism Henchman loves so much.

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Remington Model 870: Shotguns may not have the combat flexibility of carbines, assault rifles and handguns, but Henchman still uses his Remington Model 870 for close quarters combat and breaching. That said, he strongly advises his students against engaging heroes in close quarters battles, as, statistically speaking, it is the number one cause of death or injury for the average henchman.

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LSAT Light Machine Gun: One of Henchman's number one rules about surviving your first year as a henchman is to always grab the gun that fires the most bullets in the shortest period of time. After all, skill shots with tiny pistols are for heroes. The LSAT Light Machine Gun is his favourite choice when it comes to adhering to that rule and whilst it has yet to stop a hero in their tracks because they all seem capable of dodging bullets nowadays, it's definitely bought him time on more than one occasion.

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M32 MGL: The M32 MGL, or the M32 Multiple Shot Grenade Launcher, is a lightweight six-shot grenade launcher Henchman uses on occasion. Although intended primarily for offensive and defensive use with high-explosive rounds. Henchman's customised M32 is capable of firing High-Explosive, HEAT, Irritant, Pyrotechnic, Tear Gas, Knockout, Incendiary, Sound, Rubber and Beanbag canisters/rounds.

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Hench Co. Sandman Tranq Gun®: Need to incapacitate someone without killing them? Hench Co. has you covered! The Hench Co. Sandman Tranq Gun® makes dispatching of pesky security guards, butlers and damsels as easy as one, two, three! Capable of holding a cartridge of four darts at any given time, the Hench Co. Sandman Tranq Gun® combines your favourite things about shooting someone with none of the mess! Just remember: when it comes to heroes decapitation is the ultimate incapacitation!

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Sawed-Off Shotgun: Is there a tactical advantage to using a sawed-off shotgun? Nope. Does Henchman often carry a sawed-off shotgun around with him? Not at all. Does a sawed-off shotgun look ridiculously badass when he does carry it around? Hell yeah.

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RPG-7: A souvenir from his time spent working for Red Winter, the RPG-7 may not be the most practical weapon but when it hits, it hits hard.

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Brickbuster Rifle: Pinched from a VIPER armory during a drunken 'panty raid' staged by Henchman and his disgruntled unit, the Brickbuster Rifle is a little too unwieldy and excessive for him to use regularly. He does find that it's great for intimidating and incapacitating superheroes when they come knocking, though.

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Hench Co. Assassin Compound Bow®: Advertised as the cutting edge in bow technology, the Hench Co. Assassin Compound Bow® gives all those fledgling ninjas who are willing to sacrifice a little tradition for a lot of dead people with arrows sticking out of their necks the boost they need to stay unseen, unheard and, most importantly, untouched. The Hench Co. Assassin® blends the cool silence of a bow with the power and range of a rifle to give its wielder that edge they need in the competitive world of henching.

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Shortsword: It may be just a bit rustic and it's not 'cool' or 'badass' like a katana, but Henchman's shortsword is a staple of his loadout. After all, you never know when you might need to hack, slash and stab your way to your next paycheck.

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Combat Knife: More of a dagger than a knife, Henchman's combat knife is big, mean and always ready to shed some blood. Its serrated edge also allows it to function as a survival tool in desperate situations.

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Boot Knife: Originally added to his loadout by his daughter who claimed it made him 'look cool', Henchman's boot knife has actually proved its usefulness time and time again over the years. Small but fierce, it provides a useful contingency to his combat knife.

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Collapsible Bo Staff: A weapon given to Henchman by the East-Asian villain known as Bo-Lista in lieu of a Christmas bonus, this collapsible weapon doubles as a staff and Eskrima sticks when separated. In addition, it also comes with a number of useful features such as a deployable grappling hook mechanism, a cattle prod feature and a retractable blade. Henchamn's still not sure if he would've preferred the Christmas bonus, though.

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Nunchaku: Who's watched one too many Bruce Lee movies and spent his paycheck on novelty weapons and a bunch of old martial arts films? This guy!

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Hench Co. Bat Of Beating®: Everyone loves blunt force trauma, and the weapons developers at Hench Co. are no exception. The Hench Co. Bat Of Beating® may seem like an ordinary metal baseball bat, but through the use of a bunch of scientific mumbo jumbo you probably wouldn't understand anyway, it converts potential kinetic energy into double the kinetic energy it would usually result in, packing that little extra wallop that'll leave your enemies reeling in ungodly pain. With the Hench Co. Bat Of Beating®, every fractured skull and broken leg will be a home run for you!

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Stun Baton: Henchman is all about efficiency. What's more efficient than a taser which can also be used to beat the brains out of your unsuspecting target's skull? A taser which doubles as a rocket launching machine gun, maybe, but that's not a thing yet.

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Collapsible Blowpipe: A small metallic blowpipe which can be adjusted to whichever length best suits the distance of the target. Particularly useful for stealth operations, the blowpipe comes with five different types of Hench Co. Predator Series Poison Darts®: Lethal, Hallucinogenic, Tranquiliser, Berserk and Paralysing. Playing darts with somebody's neck is pretty fun, says Henchman.

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Shuriken: The only thing cooler than a knife is a knife you can throw to stab people who are really far away. At least that's what Henchman thinks. Luckily for him, the Japanese once shared the exact same sentiment.

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Grenades: Though he wishes he could get his hands on those cool pellet grenades he sees heroes using all the time, Henchman has decided to make due with some regular, old fashioned grenades to get the job done. That doesn't mean he isn't spoiled for choice, however, as these grenades come in Standard, Smoke, Flashbang and Flare.

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C4: Nothing says 'nothing personal' like sticking a block of C4 beneath a target's chair and detonating it when he goes to sit down. That may not be the only use for C4, but it's most certainly the best one.

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Claymores: C4 just not doing it for you? Why not get even lazier, leave a claymore sitting around a corner and play 'Explosion Fishing'?

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Hench Co. Expandable Pocket Rocket®

"Are your opponents really giving it to you? Is the enemy's relentless pounding getting you all flustered? Are you stuck in a hard, sticky position in which you're desperately seeking release? Do you feel like you're ready to explode? Then we've got just the tool for you! Say goodbye to tension! Say goodbye to the mounting pressure to perform! Say hello to the Hench Co. Expandable Pocket Rocket®! With the Hench Co. Expandable Pocket Rocket® in your fanny pack, you'll be able to slip through any tight spot with ease, prematurely evacuating whenever and wherever you please. Simply place the Hench Co. Expandable Pocket Rocket® in your container of choice, ensure you're wearing protection, firmly grasp your harness and gently finger the 'Pocket Rocket' button on your Hench Co. Hench Helper® (Sold Separately) to expand your Pocket Rocket and fly to safety! No matter the time or the place, your Hench Co. Pocket Rocket® will allow you to squeeze your way out of anything. Whip it out during:"

One-Sided Conflicts!

Unfair Prison Sentences!

Monotonous Meetings!

Dull Bus Rides!

Your sister's birthday!

Your mother-in-law's funeral!!

Uncomfortable silences!

Your custody hearing!

A heated argument!

A mugging gone wrong!

An awkward date!

A grating trip to the theatre!

Police searches!

Children's parties!

Any other event where it may or may not be appropriate!

"With powerful thrusters, an aerodynamic design and a whole lot of spunk, the Hench Co. Expandable Pocket Rocket® is guaranteed to leave you satisfied! You'll wonder how you ever survived without a rocket in your pocket!"

Henchmania® Energy Bar

"Being a Henchman is a tough job, let's face it. Long hours, cruel bosses, an extremely high chance of death or banishment from this plane of existence. The trying life of a modern henchman can turn the mightiest minion or the greatest goon into a listless lackey or, on some occasions, a dead one. Everyone has those days where they just don't have what it takes to keep on trucking. In many ways, weaknesses are what make us human. Can a man without weakness, without fallibility, look at himself in the mirror and call himself a man at all? WITH A HENCHMANIA® ENERGY BAR, ☠☠☠☠ YEAH HE CAN! Next time you feel your energy go kaput, reach for a bar of Henchmania® to put that adrenaline-filled spring in your step! Using a special selection of completely legal ingredients and our special formula for that frighteningly addictive Henchmania® taste, just one bite of a bar of Henchmania® is enough to kick your lazy ass from zero to THE HIGHEST NUMBER EVER by sending a brief, not quite lethal surge of adrenaline coursing through your body at Henchmaniacal speeds! And that's not all - Henchmania® can also:"

Improve your visual perception!

Boost your physical strength, speed and agility!

Improve your sexual potency!

Improve your aggression!

Improve your resistance to toxins and poisons!

Make you immune to pain!

Dangerously lower your inhibitions!

Make you taste the sun!

Make your brain feel like it's a dragon!

Make you cool and popular like you've always wanted!

"All that at the cost of a near crippling sugar crash? Sounds like a deal to me! Henchmania® isn't just any stupid old energy bar, it's the energy bar of winners! Do you want to win? Then make Henchmania® a healthy part of your balanced diet today! Henchmania®: 'Mmmm, that's non-lethal.'"

WARNING: Ingredients may or may not be legal on your planet. Excessive consumption of multiple Henchmania® Energy Bars in a short period of time may cause diabetes, blackouts, memory loss, sterility, heart palpitations, heart failure, heart explosion, brain explosion, eye explosion, spontaneous combustion, hermaphrodotism, internal bleeding, external bleeding, alien impregnation, alien symbiosis and testicular sentience. Always read the label.

Rebreather: A small mouthpiece no bigger than a kazoo, Henchman's rebreather has gotten him out of more than a couple of sticky situations, from being stuck in a room slowly filling with poison gas to drowning in the Millennium City sewers.

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Damaged Holographic Image Inducer: Grabbed by a fleeing Henchman after a heated battle between All-Star and the Infiltrator, the Holographic Image Inducer was severely damaged by one of All-Star's bullets during the fight and ditched by the Infiltrator as he retreated. Though Henchman was able to repair it slightly, the device still occasionally glitches out or falters during use. When it does work, however, it makes for a handy 'disguise kit'.

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Hench Co. Mercenary Series Trauma Kit®: Henchman typically carries a Hench Co. Mercenary Series Trauma Kit® strapped to his quiver for emergencies. The kit contains a practical supply of bandages, dressing, a tourniquet, duct tape, Quik-Clot, nitrile gloves, lubricating jelly, a cold pack, anti-bacterial wipes, SAM splints, a penlight, some medical tools, several useful drugs, a skin stapler and disinfectant spray. A personal addition to the kit by Hench Co. is a Hench Co. Fast Deploy Survival Tent® packed into a compressed capsule which releases and deploys it when thrown.

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Hench Co. Hi-Power Binoculars®: The Hench Co. Hi-Power Binoculars® are tactical binoculars designed with the relative simplicity of the average henchman in mind. Easy to use but not to lose, the Hench Co. Hi-Power Binoculars® come with a range of different visual settings (Night Vision, Thermal, Ultraviolet, Sepia and more!), a high definition zoom feature and a tactical HUD. The only feasible way it could be any easier to use would be if it spoke to you and told you all the answers to life.

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Hench Co. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles®: The Hench Co. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles® represent the latest and most advanced technology in keeping henchmen alive for as long as possible. With thermal and night vision settings and a tactical HUD, the Hench Co. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles® will turn your average Henchman into a slightly above-average henchman in no time.

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Hench Co. Spy Series Tactical Camera®: The Hench Co. Spy Series Tactical Camera® is everything a spy camera should be; small, portable and much more user-friendly than those crappy old regular sized digital cameras you can never figure out, the Hench Co. Spy Series Tactical Camera® is the perfect companion to the budding stealth-based henchman.

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Hench Co. Industrial Strength Zom-B-Gone®: Commercial brand Zom-B-Gone is fine if you're outrunning five or maybe six extremely lazy zombies, but for those times when the walking dead just won't stop walking Hench Co. Industrial Strength Zom-B-Gone® is just the thing to keep your brain where it belongs. Using a special mixture of chemicals, oils and cute endangered animals, Hench Co. Industrial Strength Zom-B-Gone® not only repels zombies, but also has a similar effect on all manner of horrifying undead creatures which may or may not exist! Just a few sprays of this harmlessly radioactive mixture will send the undead hordes plaguing your nightmares packing!

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Hench Co. Trick Arrows®

"Who needs a masterfully designed fully automatic killing machine capable of catapulting little pieces of metal at dangerous speeds and cutting down anyone in its path? Isn't that concept just a little dated these days? Do you long for something more and less? Is the standard bow and arrow combo not cutting it for you? Then why not give our Hench Co. Trick Arrows® line a look? Specially designed to give evil archers the one-up they need against the endless swarms of people who hopelessly outmatch them, Hench Co. Trick Arrows® come in a number of different varieties and combinations. Why not collect them all?"

Standard: Sometimes you just can't beat the classics. Our standard arrows are sure to pierce the hearts of your enemies!

Armour-Piercing: Need that extra full-metal 'oomph'? Our armour-piercing arrows are just the thing!

Trident: You don't have to be the king of Atlantis to want to cause your enemies that extra bit of pain! Our pronged trident arrows may be agony for your enemies, but you'll be laughing all the way to victory!

Guillotine: Hench Co. believes that the best way to kill is to overkill. Make your enemies lose their heads with our specialised guillotine arrows!

Boxing Glove: Sometimes humiliating your enemy is important. Surveys show that the only thing more humiliating than a boxing glove arrow to the face is a boxing glove arrow to the groin. Would a survey lie?

Henchman's Special 'H'®: These Merc-Con exclusive arrows have weighted 'H' shaped arrowheads which brand anyone standing in your way with a nasty 'H' shaped bruise. Make your enemy our property!

Explosive: At Hench Co. we believe that there's nothing more satisfying than an explosion. Blow the opposition to smithereens in style with Contact and Timed explosive arrowheads of varying payloads!

Thermite: If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen! Your enemies will stop shooting bullets and start sweating them when you loose one of our thermite arrows at them.

Flash: Give your opponent a kick to the eyeballs with our flash arrows, designed to temporarily blind anyone looking directly at them (Do not look directly at flash arrows).

Sonic: Make some noise and show your enemies just how much of a pain you can be with our sonic arrows. Comes in Standard and Explosive (Earbuds not included).

Gas: Why cut the cheese when you can cut down enemy forces? With our gas arrows, entire rooms will succumb to your chemical superiority! Comes in Knockout Gas, Tear Gas, Sulphur and Smoke.

Fire: Who doesn't appreciate the violent destructive force of fire? Signal to your allies or simply set your enemies ablaze with our viciously volatile fire arrows.

Acid: Inflict mortifying burns on your foes with our acid arrows. If 'OH GOD IT BURNS' is your favourite phrase, they're guaranteed to brighten your day - provided they don't dissolve your enemy's vocal chords first!

Taser: Electroshock therapy is always guaranteed to make a hostile a little more cooperative. With varying voltages from 'Shockingly Mild' to 'Nobody Deserves This Hell', you can tase with wild abandon!

Sticky Foam: A hostile who is forcibly glued to a surface is our favourite kind of hostile! Subdue your enemy with our sticky foam arrows so you can better murder them with a more lethal arrow!

Bullet: Using sentry turret technology to lock onto and fire bullets at hostiles, our bullet arrows will leave you wondering why no one ever thought to merge arrows and bullets together before!

Net: With a net arrow in your quiver, you'll always have a fight in the bag! Your enemies will be powerless to stop you with a weighted net pinning them to the floor!

Bola: It's not just a fun word to say! Our bola arrows wrap up any conflict nicely with none of the unnecessary clutter of our equally essential net arrows!

Oil Slick: Laugh as your opponents slip and slide on one of our oil slick arrows! Oil is a flammable substance, so feel free to light the oil slick on fire and watch your enemies die slowly and painfully!

Grappling Hook: Defenestration is responsible for the deaths of roughly 104 henchmen every year*. Don't be one of those unlucky souls: add a few grappling hook arrows to your quiver!

Zip-Line: There's no better way to enter a room than to enter it with one of our patented Zip-Line arrows! Just make sure your bow is zip-line compatible before jumping!

Suction Tip: Nothing sticks better than a Hench Co. Suction Tip Trick Arrow®! Your opponents will have a hard time shaking you with one of these in your quiver!

Tracer: They can run, but they can't hide when you have a tracer arrow in your quiver! Simply loose your tracer and use your Hench Co. Hench-Helper® (Sold Separately) to find your target wherever they hide!

Jammer: Make your opponents mourn for their electronic devices when you hit them with our jammer arrows! Just try not to point one at your Hench Co. Hench-Helper® (Sold Separately)!

Electronic Bug: Hear and see everything with our electronic bug arrows! Whether you're running surveillance or just blackmailing your friends and family, these arrows make listening or watching from afar a breeze!

Nullifying: Our appropriately expensive nullifying arrows use power-dampening technology to weaken the strength of your superpowered foe! Say goodbye to running and screaming!

"Remember: if it's not a Hench Co. Trick Arrow®, it's time for you to give it the shaft!"

Personality

"I'm not a bad guy, alright? I just got myself in a bad way." - Henchman

Whilst Ron isn't a twisted psychopath who enjoys causing pain or a malicious supervillain who wants to take over the world, he is by no means a good person. Selfish, cynical, opportunistic, somewhat apathetic, reluctant and cowardly, he wouldn't hesitate to throw anyone who isn't his daughter under a bus to ensure his own safety and has, on more than one occasion, done so. A childhood and adolescence spent being exceedingly average has given him a complex about living up to the expectations of others. In other words, he's so certain that he'll be unremarkable at just about everything he does that he's quick to give up the moment the going gets tough unless he's being motivated by something he really wants. Although he's mostly in it to impress his daughter, Gretchen, Ron can't deny that a healthy portion of what he does is motivated by his love of wealth, success, fame and recognition. Again brought on by his unremarkable adolescence and the dramatic failures that have barraged him throughout his life, he thrives on attention and fame, a trait that's been shown in his approach to business. To Ron, anyone who isn't his daughter exists either as a means to an end or an obstacle to overcome, and his lack of any discernible moral compass only serves to add to his self-serving philosophy.

Despite all this, however, Ron is not without his good qualities. He loves his daughter with all his heart and is willing to risk his life and put his cowardice aside just to win her love. In addition, whilst he is often ready to betray his fellow mercenaries for a bigger paycheck or for the sake of his own well-being, he is very loyal towards people he genuinely considers to be his friends and seems to treat civilians with more empathy and kindness than he does with those involved in the superhero and supervillain world, as shown with his willingness to help Amani. Though he engages in unscrupulous activities regularly, Ron doesn't consider himself to be a 'bad guy' and often peppers acts of selflessness through his life either through a sense of guilt or at the behest of his conscience. Outside of being Henchman, he genuinely tries to be a decent person and a good father to Gretchen.

As the Henchman, Ron hides up his cowardly and self-centred personality behind a facade of confidence, bravery and extreme competence to sell his services, company and products. However, his act is just that and he often sheds it when the going gets tough. For the most part, though, he has the majority of his clients and fellow criminals convinced that he's a bigger man than he actually is. With a combination of smooth-talking, fast-thinking and opportunism, Ron as Henchman comes across as something of a sleazy, crooked con man than anything else.

Though he is relatively uneducated, it's also apparent that Ron is a shrewd businessman a decent coach, as evidenced by the small success of Hench Co. He is also quick-witted and good at strategic thinking, especially when his own life is what's on the line. A lifetime of reading comic books has also made him almost dangerously genre savvy. He is very much aware of all the trappings of someone in his line of work within a comic book setting and often applies that knowledge to real-life situations to great effect. This genre savvy also affects his approach to his line of work, where he approaches most things with a sardonic sense of humour.

Something of a klutz and cursed with what he believes is bad luck, Ron's life up until the founding of Hench Co. has been pockmarked with failure and underachievement. That's not to say he isn't unlucky in more recent times, however. He's just less unlucky.

Traditionally a bit of a nerd, Ron has never had much luck with women, and his love life went completely down the drain following his divorce. Though he has seemingly resigned himself to a loveless life, he is still motivated by his daughter's persistence to get out into the dating world every now and then. Still, though, he can get awkward and frazzled around particularly attractive or seductive women.

Friends & Foes

"Friends are good. Allies are profitable." - Henchman

Gretchen Whitney (NPC)

"I'd do anything for my little girl. Anything." - Henchman

Gretchen is the single most important person in Ron's life and probably the only one who's life and safety he values over his own. Though a messy divorce, shared custody and adolescence puts a strain on their relationship, Gretchen seems wholly interested in her father's double-life and acts as his secretary and agent whenever she can. Though she claims she loves her father unconditionally, Ron fears that were he to stop being a mercenary/henchman for hire, Gretchen would quickly lose interest in him and their relationship would become estranged again.

Amani (NPC)

"The kid's a regular moneymaking machine. He's the best thing that ever happened to my bank acco- I mean, Hench Co." - Henchman

Amani is both Ron's closest friend and his top engineer, responsible for designing all of Hench Co.'s weapons and gadgets. Though Amani is grateful for Ron's assistance in keeping his village fed, he often disagrees with his amorality and often persuades his boss to either take jobs which ultimately do some good in the world or to do some good with the money from his less moral jobs. Though Ron claims that his relationship with Amani is purely driven by financial gain, he genuinely seems to care for him on some level and often defers to him on moral dilemmas.

Carolina Whitney-Hammer (NPC)

"Sometimes I wonder if they invented the 'It's Complicated' status on Facebook for me and Carrie..." - Henchman

Though their marriage was filled with frustration, arguments and discontent, Carolina and Ron have slowly developed a much more amicable relationship since their divorce. Though the former is still hesitant to trust the latter with any real responsibility and the latter still harbours romantic feelings, both are able to set their problems with one another aside for Gretchen's sake and could even be considered friends in more recent times. Though Carolina is devoted to her new husband, Kevin, now, she is usually willing to offer Ron some support when he needs it and wants him to be happy.

Det. Kevin Hammer (NPC)

"What a tool." - Henchman

An old classmate from Ron's high school years, Kevin Hammer was everything he was not. Hard-working, overachieving, popular and athletic, Hammer often treated his slacker classmate with thinly-veiled condescension. Now married to Ron's ex-wife and always eager to subtly rub it in his face, Hammer does everything in his power to devalue Ron in front of his wife and daughter. Of chief importance is his role as one of Interpol's top detectives, in which has taken a special interest in uncovering the identity of a particular masked mercenary...

Weaknesses

"A good henchman turns weakness into strength. A bad henchman turns weakness into horrible, painful dying." - Henchman

Expendable + Vulnerable: Henchman is, at the end of the day, a regular human. He's not even an exceptionally skilled or talented one. He's as vulnerable as any human.

Master Of None: Henchman may have a plethora of skills and talents, but he's hardly a master at any of them. If he ends up taking on a pro at their own game, nine times out of ten he'll lose.

Zoinks!: Henchman is a yellow-bellied coward who will almost always abandon an effort to save his own skin. If he feels victory is too far out of reach, fleeing or changing sides is always an option.

I Want My Baby Back: Henchman would do anything for his daughter, Gretchen and her approval. Anything at all. As such, she's a major weak point for him.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems: Henchman enjoys money. He enjoys having it, spending it and making it and he'd do almost anything for the right amount of it.

No Confidence Man: Henchman has his own insecurities about his competence and suffers from a rather low perception of what he's capable of every now and then.

Gallery

"Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have." - Henchman

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  The Henchman, reporting for duty!

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  Need expendable? Need invaluable? Hire the Henchman today!

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  Shoot first, run screaming later.

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  GAIA Outfit

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  VIPER Outfit

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  ARGENT Outfit

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  Dual Colt M1911 Customs

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  The IMI Desert Eagle XIX

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  The VIPER Venom Tactical Machine Pistol

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  The HK MP7

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  The LWRC M6A3

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  The Barrett M98B

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  The Remington Model 870

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  The LSAT Light Machine Gun

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  The M32 MGL

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  The Hench Co. Sandman Tranq Gun®

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  Sawed-Off Shotgun

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  The RPG-7

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  The Hench Co. Assassin Compound Bow®

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  Combat Knife

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  Boot Knife

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  Here at Hench Co., we believe that the only way to go is to go Akimbo. (Art By Eryck Webb)

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  Hench Co. believes that you should always prepare for trouble. (Art By Eryck Webb)

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  Hench Co. also believes you should make it double. (Art By Eryck Webb)

RP Hooks

"Here's my card. I do assassinations, bodyguarding and team-building seminars." - Henchman

• Ever worked closely with a villainous organisation? Ever ended up fighting against one? Odds are you might have encountered Henchman without even knowing it.
• If you're looking to become a henchman or just to pick up some useful skills which could apply to any supercriminal, Hench Co. might be the place for you.
• Need a mercenary for a slightly shady job or a high-ranking henchman to keep the others in line? Why not call Henchman in?
• Henchman regularly trains other wannabe criminals in the ancient ways of henching. Maybe he taught you a thing or two.
• Henchman's comic book store, Of Dice And Henchmen, operates out of Westside and is a relatively friendly environment for lovers of all things nerdy. You may have even seen the owner there a few times.
• Henchman had a brief tenure working as a liaison for UNTIL. Maybe you've heard of the scandal which lost him his job.
• Henchman is well-known amongst Steelhead soldiers for killing an entire strike force in his VIPER days. It was purely accidental, but they don't know that.

Trivia

"I have a Twitter for this sort of thing." - Henchman

• The best candidate for Henchman's voice and his live action actor would be Alan Tudyk
• Henchman has been a comic book fan since his youth and has a large collection of comics spanning over 23 years.
• In his spare time, Henchman runs a henchman support group which helps ease the troubled minds of evil minions. For a fee, of course.
• Hench Co.'s business enterprise isn't strictly limited to training and representing henchmen and making gear. The company also owns the radio station Henchman 105.2®, the TV station Henchman Today® and the monthly magazine Hench®. All of these specialise in henchman related news and entertainment.
• Henchman believes that katanas are for assholes and that using one makes you an asshole because they're for assholes.
• Though the idea for Henchman was one of my own, characters like Henchman 21 and 24 from Venture Bros, Taskmaster, Deadpool, Deathstroke, Bob, Agent Of Hydra, and Animal Man definitely helped flesh him out a lot more.
• Henchman suffers from an extremely paranoid case of kinemortophobia (fear of the undead) due to watching his first graphic zombie film at the age of six. He is rarely seen out in the field without a can of Zom-B-Gone.
• Henchman has a weird thing for La Roux, who he proclaims to be the musical treasure of our generation. Maybe he just likes saying it? It's a weird thing.
• Hench Co. is not just strictly restricted to operating out of its main HQ or the Millennium City Megastore. There are secret underground Hench Co. stores in Hudson City, Brooklyn, Dallas, Miami, Toronto, Rio De Janerio, and Ciudad Juarez, with plans to open up stores in Pyongyang, Shanghai, Baghdad and Croydon.
• Every July for two weeks an annual Hench-Con is held at the most recent location for the Millennium City Megastore. There one can find all manner of hench-related events and goodies such as stands for new or upcoming standard issue weapons, gadgets and uniforms, job opportunities, collectable weapons and merchandise, panels, guest speakers and more. It's the hench-related event of the year!
• Henchman is a big stress-eater. He always keeps some sort of snack in his utility belt, from Cheese-Cheese Chummies to Gummi Balls and everything in-between. Nothing's more soothing than a bag of artificial flavours and e-numbers.
• Actually, he's an eater in general. A naturally fast metabolism manages to keep him in a constant state of severe to mild hunger whilst also allowing him to quickly burn off the many calories he amasses.
• Henchman was voted 'Least Likely To Succeed At Anything' in his high school yearbook. Though the title was quickly redacted and labelled a joke, he has yet to really shake it.
• Henchman has, on more than one occasion, lost a fight to a flock of angry birds.
• Henchman has a tattoo on his lower back which he refuses to show anyone and will never explain.
• For some terrifying reason, Henchman's blood is particularly delectable to vampires, who are almost as bad as zombies but more difficult to outrun.
• Henchman is arguably the world's foremost expert in the field of running and hiding. The more completely terrified he is, the harder he is to catch. If retreat were a martial art, he would be a black belt.
• Henchman absolutely despises anti-heroes.
• The idea for making Henchman's costume orange came from the fact that every other colour which went well with black was taken by another superhero and no one ever used orange in their outfit. Also, he got some Cheese-Cheese Chummie dust on his shirt.
• Henchman can be a bit of a klutz. Whether or not his occasional clumsiness aids or hinders him is up to a flip of a coin.

Soundtrack

"Buy our limited edition Widowmaker Energy Rifle® and we'll throw in a copy of Now That's What I Call Henching® '13 for just $12.99 plus postage and packaging!" - Henchman (Hench Co. Commercial)

1. Henchman - Kirby Krackle

2. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked - Cage The Elephant

3. I'm No Superman - Lazlo Bane

4. Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

5. The Bomb - Pigeon John

6. Takin' Care Of Business - Bachman-Turner Overdrive

7. How You Like Me Now? - The Heavy

8. Live to Win - Paul Stanley

9. Mr Brightside - The Killers

10. Rejoice - Andrew Jackson Jihad

11. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap - AC/DC

12. No Children - The Mountain Goats

13. Watchu Want - Belief

14. I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins

15. I Don't Give A Fuck - Boss

16. Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger

17. Money - Pink Floyd

18. Can't Keep Johnny Down - They Might Be Giants

Comments

"Sure, yeah, just stick it in the suggestion box." - Henchman

Got something to say about the Henchman but you're aware that the Hench Co. suggestion box just leads to an incinerator? Say it here!

v • d • e
Active: Captain Collider • All-Star
Inactive/Incomplete: Mach V • Science Stork • The Flea • Bearzerker • Kid Billionaire Henchman • Captain Cash • Citizen Z • The Lovecraftian Man • Screwball • Patricia Pan
Misc: Frontiersmen