Difference between revisions of "Kid Ballistic"

Yes it's true, he's only sixteen. He's five-six, one-hundred and sixty-two pounds, and handsome as the devil. What's that? You can't tell if your heart's exploding? Or if it's the building next door?

He's the Kid with No Name, the Quick and the Dead Sexy, Master of Munitions and Duke of Demolitions. He's Kid Ballistic.

He wades through Westside, armed to the teeth, all ten of his trigger fingers itching to squeeze gunmetal. If you still have all five senses after the opening act (bombs), then you better find cover. When that fails (idiot), it really doesn't matter what you do. Between a storm of rubber bullets or that little bomb that sticks to the bottom of your car (adorable!), you're completely [CENSORED]

Let's picture Kid Ballistic for a moment.

Wow. What a man. Look at that body! Sixteen years old and he looks like a star athlete. Maybe even a model. A model with guns and an orange-blue costume. Look how that thing fits him. And that hair? Black as the raven and just as mysterious, ladies. Who wouldn't want to ride with this guy into the sunset?

The outfit is a combination of Kevlar armor, ceramic components, leather, and Spandex. Trendy and rugged; safe and stylish. Despite being skin-tight in many places, it still manages to sport pockets and pouches to store away all kinds of ordinance.

He doesn't have any tattoos or piercings (does shrapnel count?), but he's got a few scars. Most of them are small, the fond memories of firefights, car bombs, and hours of gunsmithing. He does have a rather long scar that runs along his forearm; he's particularly proud of that one.

If KB had a cologne patterned after his scent, it'd be called "Big Iron" and it'd smell like gunsmoke, sweat, and kerosene. He wears it everyday, but it's not for everyone. It usually doesn't outright repulse others. Usually.

Kid Ballistic

See? Fun!

• Click Hello - "A character from one side is pointing a pistol at another. They exchange the usual insults and witticisms. We then hear an audible click from off screen. The camera moves to the side showing that someone from the same side as the pointee has just shown up and is pointing a gun at the pointer."

• Dramatic Gun Cock - "The interrogator pulls back the hammer of the revolver or automatic, or racks the slide if the automatic has no hammer, then resumes pointing the gun to the subject's head."

• Firing In The Air A Lot - "The villains - scratch that - heroes, ride off into the distance after terrorizing - I mean - saving the locals. As they do, they fire off their revolvers into the air."

• Form-Fitting Wardrobe - "...clothing is often drawn fitting around the body far better than it reasonably should in Real Life."

• Gun Twirling - "A character spins a gun around their finger by the trigger guard. Breaks pretty much every rule of gun safety at once, but at least it looks cool."

• Handsome Devil - "You hate him. But oh my God he just looks oh-so hot. He makes fun of you, is an absolute jerk and there is no one else on the planet you hate more. But still, he looks gorgeous... doesn't he?"

• Smoking Barrel Blowout - "Blowing out the smoke out of the barrel of the gun after a shot."

• Young Gun - "The Young Gun is the Western equivalent of the Kid Samurai: a younger, less-awesome version of The Gunslinger, looking to make a name for himself."

• Arsenal^TM

• The Punisher^TM

• Deathstroke the Terminator^TM

• Hit-Girl^TM

Kid Ballistic is a man of many talents. Gunsmithing, urban warfare, demolitions, dance. He gained these skills traveling the world with his father (more on that later). Well, all except for dance. The great ones are born, not made.

First, let's get to the man before we talk about his equipment (patience, ladies). KB believes in staying in shape. His time in foreign lands (so, you know, his whole life) demanded a strong, healthy body. KB's got half of that covered. His days are filled with a strict conditioning regimen, as well as hours of rigorous exercise in the field. He needs it for survival...and because he drinks bourbon whiskey, eats whatever he wants, and sleeps when he wants. Yin and yang, right?

Ah, harmony.

KB's got a brain like a bullet. And that's not a cheap attempt to keep ramrodding gun references and metaphors into this thing. Honest. It's like a bullet because it needs inspiration to move, it's explosive, and it gets sharper the faster it goes. See, that wasn't that bad, was it? I'm kind of proud of that one.

Kid Ballistic is a creative, passionate sort. He doesn't have a mind for strategy, memorization, and goal-oriented decision making. But he is adaptive, innovative, spontaneous, and quick. He's very good at overwhelming his enemies not only in gunfire, but distraction and diversion. He has a talent for improvised weaponry and experimental tactics, making him a superb guerrilla combatant.

When you get down to it, Ballistic's heroic methodology rests on [CENSORED] his enemy with as many bullets and bombs as possible, and to do it all with style. His payload is precious, and mustn't be wasted by cruel efficiency or impeccable aim. Excess is the best! And speaking of excess, KB has more weapons at his disposal than any one 16 year old without a high school diploma has any business owning. His entire hideout (and several other, sometimes public locations) is stocked with ordinance. But KB doesn't just use any old gun. Some he knows to be reliable, and some he just plain loves. So, let the gun porn commence!

Heckler & Koch Mark 23 "SOCOM"

This is Kid Ballistic's bread and butter. Normally reserved for the United States Special Forces, KB is proud to own more than a few of them. It allows the attachment of a laser sight and suppressor, but KB in't interested in either. He got his hands on this weapon because it's ambidextrous, water-proof, and corrosion resistant. If it's good enough for SpecOps, it's good enough for Kid Ballistic.

Walther PPK-E

Bigger isn't always better. Wait...yes it is. But sometimes you need something you can hide. It's the one thing James Bond has going for him. Stuffed in his boot, in a suitcase, or down his pants (aw yeah), the PPK-E is KB's back up in tight situations. It's a .32 weapon, but when you unload the entire clip like he does, it does its job.

Mossberg & Sons 500

Right, so this is a 12 gauge, pump-action, pistol grip, yadda yadda yadda. I'd say I don't wanna bore you with the details, but I just don't wanna bore me with the details. KB likes this for its maneuverability, price, that useful-as-hell breacher choke (knock knock!), and it's pump action. Who doesn't love that sound!?

Heckler & Koch MP5A3

"H-K-M-P-5-A-3, find out what it means to me!". The standby of badasses around the world, KB digs the MP5 for its reliability and sterling performance as a submachine gun. "Sock it to me sock it to me sock it to me..." When he needs something steadfast, portable, and automatic (and he always does), KB goes for the MP5. "Just a little bit, just a little bit."

Heckler & Koch IAR

OK, so this much should be obvious: Kid Ballistic is an Heckler & Koch man. To him, it doesn't get better than German engineering. In Europe or Africa, Asia or the Middle East, his father kept his collection of HKs close, and KB learned that lesson well. When KB needs to get serious he packs this bad boy. Now KB doesn't dig assault rifles: they're big and...accurate. There's no tension, no savoring the uncertainty of your bullets' trajectories! But he also knows to be prepared, so he always has IARs in storage.

Norinco Type 69 RPG

The Chinese version of the more archetypal Russian RPG-7. Like a lot of the Reds' weapons, the Type 69 is cheap and easy to use. It's loud and dirty, like any good rocket launcher. It does something near and dear to KB's heart: delivers explosives quickly and stylishly. He loves the way its grenades travel through the air. Naturally, he mostly uses stun rounds, but it's still impressive.

M84 Stun Grenade

In a world where killing is a big no-no, rubber bullets, bean bags, and these bad boys are king. They're practically Kid Ballistic's party favors. Great for getting someone's attention, saying hello, saying goodbye, asking a girl out, or paying your bill at a restaurant. Oh, and clearing a room, stunning the enemy, and creating a diversion.

M67 Fragmentation Grenade

And here's his big brother. Let's not beat around the bush: it's a dangerous world. And even though heroes don't kill, it pays to be ready for anything. Maybe that means blowing up a car. But in Millennium City, it definitely means blowing up a [CENSORED] robot. You just hope it's driving a car so you can kill two with one. So it should come as no surprise that KB loves these little babies, but keeps them in his pants until its safe. Usually. And he doesn't actually keep them in his pants. There's enough firepower down there.

Semtex Plastic Explosive

Cue the Barry White. Semtex. Just listen to that name. Just hearing it reminds you what kind of man you want to be. She's soft, but tough. She'll do whatever you want her to do, but not without working for it. She's unique, waterproof, and stays plastic in below-zero temperatures. And that color. KB is a plastique man. He always has some handy. I am not exaggerating. It's so versatile KB is convinced there's nothing it can't do. Questionite be damned: KB wants a Semtex exchange.

OK, we all saw this coming. Let's get it out of the way: Kid Ballistic is not perfect. He's not even close.

God, did I just say that? Don't worry people, it's all under control. Who wants perfection anyway? It's shiny and...well actually it doesn't exist so it isn't anything. Unless you consider concepts to be a real thing. How can something imaginary be real? How do you- OK your eyes are glazing, I get it. Moving on.

KB's weaknesses aren't like those of other supers. Most of them are plain old human weaknesses. But they're worth stating for the record. Or whatever this is.

So, KB's human. He's tough and willful, but has those limits. He's got to eat, sleep, and socialize like any good animal. Ah! There's our first major weakness: KB's a jerk. He's brash, wild, and egotistical, and generally doesn't care what others think. He's a show-off, and he plays with deadly weapons as if they were toys. So he doesn't play well with the other children. It also means he doesn't have many friends. If I have to explain why this is a weakness, I quit.

On to more functional problems. Kid Ballistic may be a gunslinger. He may even be a quick draw. But he's no deadeye. His accuracy with firearms is above average...when he doesn't move, takes his time, and focuses. So most days, his marksmanship is average to terrible. He makes up for it with quantity, but when you need the shot to be just right, KB falls short, and knows it. It eats at him, his reputation as a gunslinger without aim, so any criticism in this ballpark really does not go over well.

Beyond that, KB isn't your usual gun nut. He's proficient with guns, but he isn't encyclopedic. He knows his equipment intuitively and based on experience. Ask him technical questions, he isn't always going to know the answer. Sometimes this translates to problems. Not understanding the intricacies and details of deadly weapons tends to do that. So far, he's been just careful enough to not harm anyone but himself. But when you're a line-stepper, you're always at risk of losing balance.

• Accidental Aiming Skills - "...occasionally, a hero will make a seemingly impossible shot, be congratulated on his awesomeness, and admit that he was aiming for something else entirely."

• Badass Normal - "In a World with supernatural dealings or superpowers, this character is the one who is able to keep being useful through intellect, martial arts abilities, general ruthlessness, or just being Crazy-Prepared."

• Bottomless Magazines - "Possibly one of the oldest, and most abused tropes when it comes to gunplay is the frequent ignorance of just how many shots the good guys/bad guys have fired from their guns without stopping for a reload."

• Bulletproof Vest - "In fiction, a bulletproof vest is capable of stopping anything up to including armor-piercing bullets fired by centerfire rifles. The shot might knock you down and leave you with a hole in your shirt, but you'll get up just fine."

• Combat Pragmatism - "The Combat Pragmatist is a character who is defined by his or her willingness to do anything in a fight to win."

• Counting Bullets - "The sign of The Gunslinger or Action Hero who's really been through more battles than anyone else, or how an exceptionally smart or otherwise gifted character takes advantage in combat: in a fight, they can count the number of bullets fired by themselves and their opponents, keep track of it all, and use this to their advantage."

• Crazy-Prepared - "Simply put, a character is either prepared for a highly unlikely scenario or excessively prepared for a routine scenario."

• Depleted Phlebotinum Shells - "By making modifications to our puny earth weapons (or, more commonly, to the ammunition) the world can be saved without having to Nuke 'em (which usually doesn't work anyway since 'nukes are bad')."

• Disarm, Disassemble, Destroy - "Alice is up against someone who has a gun. Before the gunman can shoot her, Alice snatches the firearm and quickly disables it right in front of the gunman. Asskicking typically ensues."

• Firing One-Handed - "When a hero carries a handgun, he or she will tend to wield it and sometimes fire it in one hand."

• Good Old Fisticuffs - Cue the entrance of Kung Fu, Savate, and other more choreograph-able fighting styles. What? So now, only monks and French dudes can kick ass? (don't even mention Gun Kata). What's a fighter who trained on the mean streets of the City with No Name to do? Punch 'em with Good Old Fisticuffs, of course!"

• Grappling Hook Pistol - "The Grappling-Hook Pistol is an essential item for any aspiring Badass Normal, Cape, or secret agent. This handy bit of Applied Phlebotinum can deploy a grappling hook with laser-guided precision to a secure holding point at the top of any tall building, allowing its user to climb with ease."

• Gun Kata - "In short, the focus of the style is simply to shoot where the foe ought to be when they're aiming at you, and to not be where the foe ought to shoot."

• Guns Akimbo - "Is one gun just not badass enough? Try two!"

• IKEA Weaponry - "IKEA Weaponry is all about weapons which are usually left in kit-form until they are needed."

• Made Of Iron - "Damage is frequently done to characters that should hurt or incapacitate them, but is easily shaken off."

• More Dakka - "More Dakka is the art of solving problems by firing as many rounds at them as possible..."

• Non-Powered Costumed Hero - "We all know this type of guy. He wears an unusual outfit and shows up to fight villains or monsters. He's probably got a Secret Identity and a mild-mannered alter ego to keep his private and crimefighting life separate. Sounds like a Superhero, right? He probably will get called that, too. But in this case he hasn't got any superpowers."

• No Range Like Point-Blank Range - "Guns are inherently awesome in their ability to make things significantly less alive from a distance. But every once in a while, firing from a distance just doesn't cut it."

• Personality Powers - "Often, when there's a superhero team, their powers will reflect their personalities with the most blatant symbolism possible."

• Pistol-Whipping - "Knocking someone out by hitting them with the butt of a pistol."

• Quick Draw - "The one-on-one gunfight is a derivation of the more ancient practice of duelling. Thus, a key characteristic of many gunfighters is their ability to field their weapon of choice with lightning speed."

• Sawed-off Shotgun - "If you're a Badass and you want your firearm to represent how awesome you are, there's only one choice for you - the Hillbilly Dueling Pistol, AKA the sawed-off shotgun."

• Shoot Out The Lock - "In movies and television, a locked door, or a padlock on a cage is never an impediment so long as the Hero has bullets to spare."

• Superhero Packing Heat - "...it was rare to see superpowered heroes with guns. Then some heroes who broke this rule caught on, and soon more and more heroes and villains began using guns."

• Trick Bullet - "Normally bullets are used to damage or kill whatever they hit, but there are special bullets that are not primarily intended to do that."

• Wall Of Weapons - "How do you show that someone is a Gun Nut, Crazy-Prepared or just plain needs to be taken seriously? One simple and easy method is to show him with an enormous collection of weapons."

• Damian Wayne^TM

• Hit-Girl^TM

• The Punisher^TM

• Deadpool^TM

The story of Kid Ballistic is a long one, and not for the faint of heart.

So we'll run the quick and dirty version. Don't worry, you'll still leave satisfied.

KB's real name is Sidney Lee Mason. You can call him Sid. Wait, no, don't. You call him Kid Ballistic. But his father called him Sid. Actually let's talk about that guy for a moment. His father was a mercenary of some repute, who made a small fortune as a freelance paramilitary operative. He traveled the world, for hire as a bodyguard, a bounty hunter, and an enforcer. This soldier of fortune's name was Marcus Mason Jr., an American who washed out of the Navy SEALs and went into business for himself.

By his side the whole time was his son, your hero (and lover if you play your cards right): Kid Ballistic, still in beta testing. Just after Sid was born, his father left the United States. Take notice that the mother has no part in this picture. Sid never knew her.

Young Sid was raised in dozens of foreign countries, in planes, trains, and horse-drawn carts. Sometimes they lived in luxury, and sometimes, they slept in the dirt. But Daddy Ballistic was raising his kid to be a crack operator just like him. As he sprouted, Sid became more involved in his father's business. Some kids hand their father the socket wrench when they need it. Sid handed his father a Glock.

In fact, Sid knew very little beyond the life of a mercenary. He knew more about sub-Saharan Africa than he did the United States. Marcus never operated stateside, and never spoke of Sid's mother. So his birthplace took on this mythical quality. Sid's only real exposure was secondhand through any CDs and DVDs he could get. Action flicks, rock 'n' roll, Westerns, comics, and jazz. This was all Sid needed to know about America.

I mean, what else is there?

At the age of 14, Sid could improvise explosives from home chemicals. He could field strip a gun in seconds. And he had acquired a taste for the shake, rattle and roll of automatic weapons fire. Sid was now a full-fledged partner to his father. Despite his tendency for excess (a.k.a. the perfect amount) and overkill (Sid's favorite kind of kill), he seemed essential to the family enterprise. Sid was his father's quartermaster and his backup. And never was he more needed than when Marcus' needed a diversion. That is, until the bastard left.

Now here's where I let you in on a secret: Sid was never the expert his father was. Unlike the old man, who was a cold operator and a crack-shot, Sid got by only on tenacity and style. And a lot of extra ammo. He really tried to compete with his father, but never measured up. Sid had a gift for passion, not pragmatism, and Marcus valued one over the other. He just never thought pragmatism would edge him out too.

At first, Sid was angry. Then he was pissed. He searched the world for the better part of a year, calling all of his training to the fore and tapping every contact he could. But Marcus was gone. Part of him had hoped it was a test, but even after failing, there was no reprisal, and no return. So what next?

Sid knew the demands of the life. And he wasn't so sure he could do it alone. In fact, he was pretty sure he would screw it up. His father seemed to think so. In a decision pretty much bankrupt of all pride and guts, proto-KB gathered his belongings and stacks of cash to smuggle them and himself into the United States.

Why, do you ask? It was all he had left. Maybe he'd meet his grandfather, or finally figure out who his mother was. Or maybe he'd spend his money on booze and inordinate amounts of ordinance. I mean, can you blame him? He was out of a job and he was experiencing America for the first time. Liquor, girls (mostly liquor), and all the toys he could never have abroad were finally his. Instead of living for his profession, now Sid lived for the party. And now, a moment of silence for all the liquor bottles, put to death by one-man firing squad.

We hardly knew ye.

But his first love came back to him in a dream, and he awoke, hungover on his couch, embracing an AR-15. I'm betting most of you would take this as a sign to quit the booze. Interesting. Sid didn't see it that way. The itch was back: he still remembered parts of his childhood fondly, and it wasn't the money or the badassery of being raised from birth to be a hired gun. No, it was the freedom, the firepower, and the style. And if he wasn't going to be a mercenary, there was another profession that offered all three.

Making the leap from washed-up mercenary to superhero was not difficult for Sidney. He already had the equipment, the hideout, and the training. He didn't have much of a secret identity to protect. But he fashioned an alter ego anyways. Take that, logic! Sid conjured Kid Ballistic from his upbringing, distilling that aforementioned American education down to a rugged, stylish, gun-toting, bomb-throwing superhero.

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Kid Ballistic has enjoyed a successful career so far. Criminals often underestimate him on account of his age, and most don't hold a candle to the baddies Sid took on during his mercenary days. Sure, he blows up a few too many minivans, and fires a few too many bullets. But that's what walls are for! And it's not like there were any kids in those ugly minivans. He's confident people will come around. With enough spectacle and bullets, anything is possible!

• Beserk Button - "In short, some characters almost always get enraged when given a certain trigger."

• Gun Nut - "A character whose life revolvers around guns."

• Misery Builds Character - "Sometimes quoted as "A little suffering is good for the soul." or "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"."

• Secret Identity - "Put simply, a character (usually a superhero) keeps his involvement in the events of the plot secret from some or all of the other characters."

• Trigger Happy - "Some people really, really like guns. Maybe they're Compensating for Something. Maybe they see all problems as solvable with More Dakka. Maybe they just prefer to shoot first and ask questions later."

• Upbringing Makes The Hero - "..."Heroes are made, not born"..."

• Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys? - "...there is a compulsion to ask, "Where did all this stuff come from?"

• Damian Wayne^TM

• Hit-Girl^TM

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The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly | Ennio Morricone

I'm A Man | Black Strobe

Libiamo ne' lieti calici (Let's drink from the joyful cups) | Francesco Maria Piave

Turn Blue | The Black Keys

I Don't Wanna Set The World On Fire | The Ink Spots

For Whom The Bell Tolls | Metallica

Strangers In The Night | Frank Sinatra

Anything Goes | Cole Porter

Weapon Of Choice | Fatboy Slim

Cowboys From Hell | Pantera

Shots | LMFAO

Bang Bang | Nancy Sinatra

T.N.T. | AC/DC

Don't Stop Me Now | Queen

1812 Overture | Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Short Change Hero | The Heavy

The Last Gunfighter Ballad | Johnny Cash

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  KB's Symbol, the "Jolly Bomber".

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