To The Moon, Malice!

"You should be honored, big human," Vrtylk said, his thin tendrils waving as the ant-like alien he talked. "We normally do not allow humans so close to Selenus."

Thundrax almost chuckled. "Close? We're on the exact opposite side of the moon from Selenus."

"Yes," Mlhuak added, her eggsac (or that's what Thundrax thought it was) bulged as she rubbed her chitinnous arms together. "Very, very close." She seemed to fret nervously, the translator humming ponderously even after she finished speaking.

"And you've still surrounded the base with three automated observation posts and a battery of weapons!" Thundrax noted.

"To face the human invaders after their savage nature leads them to betray you and take advantage of your naive altruism!" Vrytylk's translator circuits said as he excitedly clicked his mandibles and forelimbs.

Craig Carson, the superhero Thundrax sighed. The base was small, an adjunct to a complex constructed by the supervillain Revenger in the 1960s. Thundrax had discovered this base when the Circle of Justice was investigating Dr. Destroyer's old network of bases and discovered Zerstoiten had taken a base that Revenger had built and had used it as a power source for the orbital defense network he built in the early 1980s. After a battle against a colony of Moon Amazons, the COJ had uncovered the source of the pbase's ower: a sleeping cosmic titan, a Galaxar called the Slumberer. Kastor had blown up most of the base in what Craig considered a wasteful and paranoid strike, however it turned out the base's defenses were hardier than they had thought on the initial damage assessment. A few domes had only been moderately damaged, and the base's autorepair systems had fixed one and were working on several others. The Selenites claimed to be grateful for his help, but it wasn't until he and the Star*Guard had saved Selenus from a cosmic superweapon that some among the Selenites finally deemed Craig trustworthy enough to be a distant neighbor.

That's one hell of a picket fence they built, Thundrax thought, looking at the arsenal of overkill that was aimed at the base. This cold welcome was mirrored by the attitude of the two "ambassadors" sent by Grlthk to formally grant him access to the complex.

"I hope not," Craig said. "The whole purpose of me being here is to keep an eye on that Galaxar should he awaken and be a first line of defense in case he threatens Selenus."

"Yes! You shall make excellent ablative chittin!" Mlhuak stated. "You are mighty and noble and stupid!"

Craig wondered about the translation of that last comment. He had the annoying feeling it was all-too accurate.

"Yes! Mighty and noble, but that makes you an aberration!" Vrytylk added. "Your death will be sad but it is inevitable!"

"I'll make sure you're invited to the funeral," Craig quipped, eying the base. The floors, the walls, had a certain 1960s ambience that rubbed Craig, a child of the 70s, in the wrong way. But what could you expect from a supervillain who bred giant blue amazon women even in the days before snu-snu jokes?

"We will not attend!" Mlhuak stated. "Too many humans!"

"I'll be heart-broken," Thundrax replied, going over the controls. Quasar had briefed him on Destroyer's technology during his tenure in UNITY in the 1990s and Craig was probably more conversant with some of the idiosyncrasies of Zerstoiten's systems than all but a handful of people on earth. But Zerstoiten, uncharacteristically, had left many of Revenger's systems intact. "Why is this light flashing?"

"Perhaps you should press the button next to it..." Vrytylk suggested, and before Craig could stop him, the Selenite reached out and pressed it with surprising deftness.

There was a clanging sound as metal enclosures suddenly dropped over the airlock. "MeteorMan!" came the sound of Revenger's voice, in mono (clearly a recording). "You have fallen into my trap! Behold the power and majesty of my greatest creation! Behold Black Samson!"

A panel slid open, revealing a muscular African-American, well over seven feet tall, naked except for a strip of a loincloth over his comic's codeworthy bits, awakening from stasis. His eyes glowed red.

"What the hell?" Craig muttered. "MeteorMan retired thirty years ago!"

"He is a negro, because their slave heritage gives him superior physical genetics!" Revenger added. "Genes now focused on your destruction, Sentinel!"

"You have got to be kidding..." Craig muttered aloud at the archaic (and highly racist) theory, which turned into a grunt as "Black Samson" (and why did every African-American super from that time have "Black" in their name?) leapt on top of him, beginning an impromptu wrestling match.

"Humans. Such a violent species," Vrytylk commented.

"How have they managed to avoid extinction?" Mlhuak asked.

"A little... help... here... fellas..." Craig said between having his skull bashed repeatedly into the cold titanium bulkhead.

"Life holds many mysteries and many improbabilities," Vrytylk noted.

"Truly it does!"

Craig tried to shove his attacker off, only to inadvertantly propel the two of them into the ceiling with incredible force from the moon's reduced gravity. He wasn't used to fighting in 1/6th G.

"Fall, MeteorMan, fall!" Revenger's voice called out. "Vengeance is mine, saith Revenger!" the villain added, followed (of course) with a melodramatic laugh worthy of Ming the Merciless in the old Flash Gordon serials.

"Humans are loud as well as violent!" Vrytylk stated.

"Indeed they are!" Mlhuak replied. "You are a font of wisdom today, my mate!"

"Do you think the stupid one will be slain?"

"Probably," the female opined.

...Craig sighed, as his opponent blocked a roundhouse punch, grabbed his costume by the collar and his shirt was torn -- again. All in all, this has got to be the worst housewarming since the Ultimates crashed the grand opening of Champs HQ, Craig thought. And the day was not going to get any shorter