Mach Speed's letter to DE:LTA
THAR BE SPOILERS HERE!!!!! DO NOT READ UNTIL INSTRUCTED BY @rev668!!!
Sup DE:LTA feebs,
If yer readin' this it means I didn't kill ya...yet anyway. (HOORAY YOU!!) Gotta say, been a lotta fun bein' in yer midst for so long. It's a testament to just how little ya know each other that I was able to pose as my jack ass self from this dimension and wander about ya for so long unnoticed. Well, 'sides Rocky and his...his...OOOH SPOILER ALERT...sister. They were catchin' on and gettin' more and more nosey. Rocky, I knew killin' yer robo sista would be worse than anythiin' I coulda done to you, ya know, the whole "got her back only to lose her again" kinda thing. Plus...never known a robot to be soooo condescendin'....such a smart mouth on that one. Just a few of the many reasons I trashed her.
Anyway this lil' letter is a confession of sorts as I 've been here for a while and been up to all sorts of shenanigans. Thought I'd share a few with ya!
1. I'm sure yer wonderin' just how long I've been posin' as yer "Speed"...and whether or not I killed the lil' idiot. As much as I'd looooove to say I gutted that pathetic excuse for me...I was told not to.(BOOOOOO) So he's alive, though maybe not well and as to where he is...that'll be my lil' P.S. to ya.
2. I've actually been here messin' with ya as long as Zed has been, just more behind the scenes. See my buddy Viceroy knew none of ya'd be able to see me movin' at my speeds, none of ya 'cept Speed. So the plan was to divert Speed's attention by sendin' Zed to play with him and with that clown outta the way I was free to play too. Which brings us to #3.
3. Yer lovely alien lady Glimmer. So sad she got called back to her home world, huh? But what if she really didn't? What if I was given a device from Viceroy to attach to her home world comm where we could broadcast anythin' we wanted? Say that maaaaybe we made up the awful news she was given? And let's just saaaaaay that I planted a bomb on that space ship of hers that was set to blow half way there? Yea. That happened. Glimmer go BOOM!
4. After blowing up yer pretty alien it was time for me to join yer team. Between Zed and Dr. Destroyer's sorta return causin' all manner of trouble for that moron Speed, it left him all outta sorts. Tired in body and in mind, meanin' easy target for me. So I waited till he "needed that inevitable drink" and then I thrashed him. Waaaaaay too easy. As was takin' his place among you guys. See, we were in the same boat you guys're in now. Ya know of us but ya have little to no intel on us. Which brings me to #5.
5. I used another device from Viceroy to hack yer pooter!! Now we got ALL yer files, strengths...weaknesses....fetishes (Naughty naughty Rocky)...all of it! While you guys're still in the dark 'bout us...we're "readin' all about it"!
So to recap, Speed got thrashed, Robot got trashed and Glimmer go boom. Three agents down or dead, I posed as one of ya for a month and I stole yer shit! Aaaaaand I barely broke a sweat doin' all of that!
C'mon guys, ya gotta be able to do better than that...I mean that was waaay too easy and OMEGA's not even tryin' to take ya out yet. Just feelin' ya up a lil'. Better get it together feebs, cause change is comin' and it's comin' soon.
Ta Ta from yer buddy,
-Mach Speed-
oh and P.S.
The moron is beaten to a pulp and half dead in the construction site by the Harmon buildin'. Zed left him there for ya but not before livin' up to his last name....Torture! Better go get him.
Aaaaand P.P.S. (haha I said PP...I kill me...ya know, when I'm not killin' you that is.)
Anyway, P.P.S.
