Hazard Squadron

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Hazard Squadron
Mission Impossible? Try Mission Suicidal...
HazardSquadron.jpg
Leader: Doc Hazard
Base: Millennium City
Founded: 1964



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SUBJECT: Hazard Squadron

Executive Summary

Hazard Squadron is a space age throwback in a modern world. Doctor Abraham Hazard has hand-picked heroes who align with his somewhat unrealistic world-view that the 1960s never died, they just got invaded by a generation of limp-wristed sodomites who, though destined for the flames of Hell, deserve to be protected by their moral betters. Hazard's team is stacked with politically incorrect misogynists, culturally ignorant pseudo-racists, and good old fashioned American patriots that support the heck out of their government.

Hazard Squadron owes its roots to Doc Hazard's grandfather, Solomon. Solomon was said to have made his first hundred dollars at the age of 13 selling the secret of stainless steel to Harry Brearly and his first million selling Dow Chemical the key to polyvinylidene chloride: the chemical form of Saran Wrap about 20 years later. Though Solomon preferred to remain behind the scenes, America's technology always seemed to leap forward precisely when Solomon's personal fortune did. The reason for this was simple: Solomon sold his secrets to the government in exchange for not only money, but the freedom to run a covert 'fraternity of the fantastic' that solved the world's most pressing problems, usually with deadly force, chemical explosions, or murky mysticism.

Solomon's son, Noah, was something of a disappointment and not really up to the task of filling Solomon's shoes. Noah's work with NASA from 1964 to 1968 resulted in 8 astronaut deaths in 5 separate accidents, all attributable in some way to his 'innovation on the design.' However, loyalty over Solomon's contributions caused the government to keep him on until they found a capacity he could actually be useful: infiltrating and sabotaging the Russian program with his 'science training.' With the explosive decompression of Soyuz 11 in space, Noah Hazard returned to the US having finally been useful. In his absence, though, Abraham had been born and Solomon, in his wisdom, ensured the boy bonded with him.

Abraham proved to be the son Solomon should have had. Boy genius turned boy adventurer and eventually business magnate as his grandfather had been. In 1995, Abraham lost both his father and grandfather when Noah attempted to repair an airplane microwave mid-flight. Aside from cooking a ribbon-winning poodle 4 miles away, he also knocked out everyone on board resulting in an all-hands-lost crash into the memorial for the astronauts who perished on Noah's second project.

Abraham carries on as Noah should have, bolstering the government with new technology and keeping alive the values of his grandfather in a swinging 60s spirit. To that end, he has recruited manly men and femme fatales with extraordinary powers and skills to continue the work of protecting the world just as Solomon's team had done the previous millennium.

History

While Solomon Hazard is the man credited with founding the first Hazard Squadron, his father, Jubal Hazard, laid the moral and idealistic foundation upon which Solomon would build his empire. Jubal, an original member of the Rough Riders, saw action at Las Guasimas, San Juan Hill, and the Seige of Santiago. One of the family's legends has it that Jubal and none other than Teddy Roosevelt saved a voudon priest from a grueling demise during the combat in Santiago. Both received a potent blessing protecting the fortunes of their family line. Jubal long credited this blessing for providing him with such a remarkable son as Solomon.

The First Hazard Squadron

The Battle of Bangalore Bay

Solomon Hazard's fortunes and technological legacy are well known. Much less is known about his secret team of brazenfaced hotspurs, the Hazard Squadron. During the second decade of the 20th century, though Solomon himself commanded a substantial family fortune passed down by his father, he preferred to make his own way on his own merits. He was a world traveler who trekked far and wide with an array of remarkable characters seeking the next sense-shattering discovery, usually righting wrongs as they came upon him.

Haddie and Klank

It was 1931 and Solomon had been cavorting about the Indian sub-continent with his compatriots Haddie MacQuigley, a big game hunter and sharpshooter from Oklahoma; Raging Rex Reinhardt, the bare-knuckles champion of Austria; and Guru Kush, a Nepalese mystic under a mysterious vow of silence. The group stumbled upon the plans of a man who would become their greatest foe but also galvanize Solomon to forge the Squadron. Professor Kinjo Kaiju had come into possession of what he called "the Vita Vapors" - steam collected at the formation of the world said to possess the mystical properties of life. He planned to build an army of automatons and, using the Vita Vapors, transport the consciousnesses of every person in India into the mechanical bodies and control them using his specially constructed body. Kaiju's plans almost came to fruition.

On a little known island off the east short of India, Kaiju's first wave of controlled clockworks came ashore at Bangalore Bay. The British forces fled immediately. Seeing their benefactors in full retreat, the Indian officers left their posts and, had it not been for Solomon and his compatriots taking command, the island would have been lost. Combat was brutal as flesh met bronze, but the possessed robots were slowly driven back to the sea. It was only then that Professor Kaiju's secret was revealed. He had already transferred his essence into the controlling mechanism of the forces, a step necessary to command the Octoborg, a giant mechanical octopus powered by the souls of a hundred Indians. Now calling himself Mechamind, Professor Kaiju assaulted the shores of Bangalore Bay.

Solomon and his band were not completely unprepared, however. Manning a secret weapon hidden aboard a seemingly derelict steamer, Solomon and his crew attacked Mechamind and his machine from the sea, drawing the beast and master away from the faltering Indian soldiers. Though they prevailed in the end, Mechamind escaped and Rex was left mortally injured. Only through the occult power of Guru Kush did Rex survive, his soul transferred into an automaton. The breaking of his vow, however, shattered the unholy compact that had granted his powers and long life. The Indian command, in an unprecedented act of recognition, granted each member of Solomon's team the rank of Subedar, a title Hazard Squadron keeps to this day to denote their most experienced members.

Following the battle, Solomon decided it was time to put his father's fortune to use. He created the Hazard Foundation, a ostensibly philanthropic organization dedicated to a better world. In truth, it funds a secret team of remarkable individuals known as Hazard Squadron. Solomon created the team with Haddie and Rex, who had taken the name Klank. The status of the team is officially secret, but there are those around the world and especially in the United States military-industrial complex where they are well known. This relationship has been maintained throughout the various incarnations of the team.

Roster

Current Team

  • Elastic Man - Elastic Man gained his super-stretching abilities and incredible durability by kissing a meteor emitting strange cosmic rays.
  • Elemento - An alchemical accident has given Elemento the ability to control the classical elements.
  • Green Guardian - An ancient tribal ritual granted Green Guardian access to the Earthforce, a green energy of nearly unlimited power.
  • Thinkonaut - A Noah Hazard mishap fused a hi-tech synaptic helmet to Thinkonaut's brain, giving him the power to move objects with his mind.

Past Squaddies

  • Haddie MacQuigley - Big game hunter and sharpshooter from Oklahoma.
  • Klank (Raging Rex Reinhardt) - Former bare-knuckles champion of Austria whose consciousness has been mystically transferred into a mechanical automaton.
  • Guru Kush - Nepalese mystic under a mysterious vow of silence, inducted posthumously.

Rogues Gallery

Mechamind

Mechamind

Professor Kinjo Kaiju was the impetus behind the formation of Hazard Squadron. His malevolent mind required a response more than any single man could mount. His knowledge of metamechanical engineering, applied occultism, and astrophysical alchemy is second to none and provides him with the required combination of disciplines to rise to the level or world-class threat - some would argue he borders on the cosmic. Just prior to the Battle of Bangalore Bay, Professor Kaiju transferred his consciousness into the metallic construct able to control other sentients via the mysterious Vita Vapors. Though the construct is just a "head in a jar," as Solomon derisively referred to him, it has proven to be indestructible and adaptable to many chassis capable of great harm. Professor Kaiju insists on being called Mechamind and views his new form as perfection achieved. Hazard Squadron has never been able to completely defeat or neutralize Mechamind and his return is simply a matter of waiting at this point.

Mechamind's abilities include a variety of controllable constructs, a penchant for elaborate themed ray guns (death, freeze, dysentery, etc.), telekinesis, and telepathy. His driving ambition is to preserve the humanity by transforming it into durable automatons suitable for interstellar conquest. He is a notorious monologuer and can be manipulated into divulging his plans if the interrogator is bound and under the threat of a slowly perpetrated demise.

The villain's hatred of Hazard Squadron is unreasonable, even moreso than his goals for the human race.