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“Sometimes you just have to run, but that don't make it any easier on your conscience. From the ashes of Detroit rises the city of the future, Millennium City! Francis Porier is ready to start the next chapter in his life. Does he have what it takes to be a functioning member of society again? Find out in the final chapter of Punchline ‑ The Cursed Clown!”
"Greasepaint and Government Blues!"
If I new the world was going to end this evening, I'd have taken the night off. I didn't know how it started, but there was fire everywhere. Buildings are burning, the walls are falling down, streets were melting... not only did hell break loose, but it was trying to set up shop right here in Detroit.
There's no place to hide and few places to run. The panic around me was almost overwhelming. I know I got to get out of here fast. Just like everyone else in this city, I have to find a way out. I run to the river and swim as far as I can down stream. For all I know the world is coming to an end, and there is no way anyone can stop it.
...
I've been spending the last few years in Quebec City. There is no Detroit anymore. It's just gone. It's said, one man. . . one crazy fool. . . destroyed the entire city. I remember decades back being amazed at how much destruction a man can cause when given the power to do it. That time it was Valphazar burning down the Circus, and it seemed so terrible at the time. This thing in Detroit was so much more, and so much worse.
These last few years have been hard me. I was settled back in Detroit, ready to spend the rest of my life tucked away in my little niche. I think of the people there. Sure, they weren't all saints or nothing, but they had lives. We were all just trying to get by, and "Destroyer" took that away from us. He took the city, and all I could think to do was run away. I've played the scenario out in my mind a thousand times now. I could have moved rubble, pulled down the water towers to help people trapped in the flames, I could have done so much to help... but I just ran.
I read in the paper that they've been rebuilding. The new city is supposed to be the new pinnacle of human achievement. They even are giving it a new name, Millennium City. It's going to be "the new future" they say. The UN is setting up an office there where they deputize "superheroes" to help out with crimes the police can't handle. Maybe they'll hire me, maybe they won't. It's better than sitting here feeling sorry for myself.
A trip from Canada to Michigan takes a long time when you don't have a passport. Hitchhiking isn't as easy as it used to be, either. People just don't pick up strangers anymore. It's another sign of the times, I guess. At least it's not much further, because I'm seeing exit signs now. I can see the skyline out there. Never seen anything like it really. Most of the city is real low to the ground, but out by the water there's this one clump of towers that look like they reach the clouds. That's where I need to be.
After all this walking I'm real, real tired. I'm walking through the West Side, and it's just as dingy and dirty as I remember. It don't even look like they cleaned it all up yet. My old building's just a pile of rubble now, so I guess I'm not going to find my old stuff there. It's a shame, too. I was hoping to find that old suit of mine around here somewhere. Either it's buried here, or it was washed away in the flooding. I don't know why I even bothered looking for it. I'm a sucker for nostalgia, I guess. Looks like I'm going to go sign up as the mighty "Jeans and Sweatshirt Man" after all. Ah well.
It's funny. The towers looked huge from across the river. From up close they just look impossible. A man could strain his neck trying to see the tops of these things. The queue for the registration center looks like the set of a Hollywood sci-fi picture. There's flying people, rock people, lizard people. . . I'm starting to have my doubts about coming here. I mean, with all this what in hell do they need me for? Comic relief? What else am I going to do, though?
At least here I can take my gloves and sweatshirt off. I'm sure these people find stranger stuff than me under their couch. Besides, it's hotter then a supermodel in a sauna out here. Maybe I can ask the skateboarding ice cube guy over there to make me a snow cone. Ah dang, no time. There calling us in now. Great, it's questions and answers time. I hope this goes better than my other job interviews.
"Sir, I just have to ask some standard questions before I allow you to register with the Respond and Protect offices. Please have a seat."
She don't have to ask me twice. I've been on my feet way too long at it is. It's hard to enjoy it though, because of all the questions. No, no criminal record. Yes, I'm a citizen of the United States. Explaining what it is I can do. . . denouncing affiliations with known terrorist organizations. . . Yes, it is bigger than a breadbox. . .
Yeah, she didn't really ask that, but it starts feeling like she should.
"Well then sir, just a few more things left to ask. Um, do you have a costume? We usually take a photo for the file."
I tell her about the fire, and that I'll need to get a new one. All the while, I can't help but think of my first job interview with good ol' Danny Boyd.
"Alright... we'll the update the photo next week. How about a name?"
I remind her I told her it when I walked in. Man, I miss Danny. He's the one that made me something worth seeing. The one that gave me a chance.
"Yes Mr. Porier, but we prefer you use an alias for privacy reasons. Do you have a codename you plan to use?"
I can still hear him laughing away now, "Francis. . . c'mon buddy, we need you out there. You're a walking punchline, kid!"
"ha Ha HA. . . Yeah. . . I'm the Punchline!"
Want to know what happens next?
Issue #6 - "Playing the Mambo on Piano!"
"Well, that's one less villain on the streets, and one less piano in the world!"
Want to know what that's all about? Well come back another time to read about a day in the life of Punchline! - Coming Soon!
In the meantime, if you want to read the PRIMUS DATABASE entry for Punchline, click here.
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